This was my second attempt at this project. This first time I presented it was at Tampines Changkat TMC. The speech, about Maria Montessori, was more of a chronological record than a story and so the evaluator Coen Ching rightly 'failed' me.
I read up various internet reports about Helen Keller and put together a story about her relationship with her teacher Anne Sullivan. I presented it at Kampong Glam TMC to a group of non-toastmasters as a demo speech and was evaluated by DTM Christine Lim.
FROM DARKNESS INTO LIGHT (A story about Helen Keller)
Kate was deeply troubled. Her 6-year-old daughter Helen was becoming more and more uncontrollable. She had contracted an illness when she was 19 months old. It had left her blind, deaf, and consequently mute. Frustrated that she could not see nor communicate with anyone, Helen would fly into uncontrollable rages and tantrums everyday.
One day, Kate came across an article about the successful education of another deaf and blind child, Laura Bridgman and excitedly showed it to her husband. The couple quickly contacted the Perkins Institute for the Blind, the school where Laura had been educated. The school's director, asked former student Anne Sullivan to become Keller's instructor. Anne was herself visually impaired and only 20 years old,
Anne Sullivan arrived at Helen Keller's house in March 1887. Kate brought Helen to Anne and placed Helen's hand in Anne's. 'Hello Helen, I have a present for you.' Anne said, even though she knew Helen could not hear her. Anne placed a doll in Helen's hands and Helen started feeling the doll and stroking her hair. Then Anne took one of Helen's hands and started finger writing on her palm. She was spelling the word 'doll' d-o-l-l. Helen did not understand what Anne was doing. She pulled her hand away and continued to stroke the doll.
The next few days were traumatic. Helen hit, pinched, and kicked her teacher and even knocked out one of her teeth. Anne convinced her parents she needed two weeks alone with the child if she was to achieve any progress in her education. Anne finally gained control by moving with the girl into a small cottage on the Kellers’ property. Through patience and firm consistency, she finally won the child’s heart and trust, a necessary step before Helen's education could proceed.
Helen's mother once told Anne that Helen had been precocious in her learning of language before her illness and that her first word had been "wah-wah" for water. One day, while Anne and Keller were at the water pump refilling a pitcher of water, Anne kept spelling the word 'water' into Helen's palm. Suddenly, Helen whispered 'wah-wah'. She kept repeating it. Finally she understood that 'wah-wah' or w-a-t-e-r was the the tangible substance splashing from the pump.
It was a moment of enlightenment that brought Helen from darkness into light. She finally understood that words represented things. Later Helen Keller wrote in her autobiography:
"Suddenly I felt a misty consciousness as of something forgotten—a thrill of returning thought; and somehow the mystery of language was revealed to me. I knew then that “w-a-t-e-r” meant the wonderful cool something that was flowing over my hand. That living word awakened my soul, gave it light, hope, joy, set it free! … Everything had a name, and each name gave birth to a new thought. As we returned to the house every object which I touched seemed to quiver with life."
Helen wrote of the days that followed, “I did nothing but explore with my hands and learn the name of every object that I touched; and the more I handled things and learned their names and uses, the more joyous and confident grew my sense of kinship with the rest of the world.”
Sullivan fingerspelled to her constantly, and coached her in the give-and-take of conversation. Keller’s love of language, her great articulateness and grace as a writer and public speaker were built upon this foundation.
The following year Helen attended the Perkins Institute for the Blind where she joined other little blind children in their work and play, and talked continually. She was delighted to find that nearly all of her new friends could spell with their fingers. She wrote of this experience: "Oh, what happiness! To talk freely with other children! To feel at home in the great world!” Helen studied French, arithmetic, geography, and other subjects. She especially enjoyed the library of embossed books and the tactile museum’s collection of bird and animal specimens.
Later Helen Keller and Anne Sullivan moved to New York to attend other special schools for the deaf and eventually in 1904, at the age of 24, Helen Keller graduated from Radcliffe College, becoming the first deaf blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree.
Keller went on to become a world-famous speaker and author. She is remembered as an advocate for people with disabilities. She was able to achieve all this because of one person - her teacher Anne Sullivan.
Anne Sullivan became more than a teacher to Helen Keller. They became lifelong companions who lived, worked, and traveled together. By 1935, Anne Sullivan became completely blind. She died at age 70, with Keller holding her hand. When Keller herself died in 1968, her ashes were placed next to Anne's.
In October 2009, a bronze statue of Helen Keller was added to the National Statuary Hall Collection in America. It depicts Keller as a seven year old child standing at a water pump. The statue represents the significant moment in Helen Keller's life when she understood her first word: W-A-T-E-R, as signed into her hand by teacher Anne Sullivan. The pedestal base bears a quotation in raised letters and Braille characters: "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart."
Christine's recommendations for improvement included more vocal variety and dramatisation to make the story come alive.
A good start to the new year. Two more project speeches to AC-S!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Make Things Happen!
Opening Address June 2009
Good evening, fellow toastmasters, ladies and gentlemen. I would like to begin by asking you a question. If your answer is no, don’t say it out loud. But if your answer is ‘yes’, please say it out loud.
This is my question: “Do I look pretty tonight?” Thank you. Now I can go back and tell my Immediate Past President Justin that I have accomplished my objective because he told me that as a club President, all I have to do is to sit and look pretty.
But seriously, appearances aside, the more important thing for the President to do is to set a vision for the club and motivate the team to get the job done.
It has been said that some people make things happen, some people watch things happen, and some simply wonder, ‘What happened?’
Fellow club members, don’t be wonderers, don’t be watchers, be makers of happenings!
If you want to be an accomplished speaker, make that happen by preparing for each and every speaking assignment diligently.
If you want to be a contest champion, make that happen by taking part in contests and getting a mentor to guide you.
If we want Katong Toastmasters Club to be a distinguished club, let’s work together as a team to make that happen! I believe we can.
When I read about the World Champion of Public Speaking 2008, I was very excited and inspired because it was a woman! Do you have any idea how many woman has ever won this title? Since this contest began in 1938, only four women have ever won this title!
And LaShunda Rundles from Dallas, Texas is the first African-American woman ever to win this prestigious competition. Her contest speech, “Speak” encouraged people to use their voices to change the world. As a lupus survivor, she plans to become the national spokesperson for the Lupus Foundation of America.
In her own words, she said
“People who do not understand lupus do not have an idea of what I deal with each day. There are thousands of people living in pain daily.
I want to raise money, awareness, and understanding. I don’t want people to live with the shame that I did for many years wanting to hide it. My skin is not flawless, my scars are many, but my resolve is unbreakable. I want to bring hope to the lives of those that know what it is really like to have a “good” day. As the awareness grows the quality of life for many people will mean many more “good” days and better yet restful nights. In a world of limited resources we have to fight for our piece of the pie.
I lost a friend of mine who was 28 and died blind and in a wheelchair with lupus. If I can help prevent things like that through my voice, it would be a blessing and an honor.”
Wow, what an inspiration! To think that we can change our world through our voices. We can speak up for what’s right and what’s true. Whatever your goals in life, whatever your dreams, whatever your aspirations, make them happen.
May Toastmasters be the place and platform where you start to make things happen by honing your listening, thinking and speaking skills. I thank the outgoing EXCO for their dedication, commitment and contributions to the club and I congratulate the incoming EXCO for their courage to take up the challenge of running this club. Together, we will make things happen for Katong Toastmasters Club and bring it to the next level.
Good evening, fellow toastmasters, ladies and gentlemen. I would like to begin by asking you a question. If your answer is no, don’t say it out loud. But if your answer is ‘yes’, please say it out loud.
This is my question: “Do I look pretty tonight?” Thank you. Now I can go back and tell my Immediate Past President Justin that I have accomplished my objective because he told me that as a club President, all I have to do is to sit and look pretty.
But seriously, appearances aside, the more important thing for the President to do is to set a vision for the club and motivate the team to get the job done.
It has been said that some people make things happen, some people watch things happen, and some simply wonder, ‘What happened?’
Fellow club members, don’t be wonderers, don’t be watchers, be makers of happenings!
If you want to be an accomplished speaker, make that happen by preparing for each and every speaking assignment diligently.
If you want to be a contest champion, make that happen by taking part in contests and getting a mentor to guide you.
If we want Katong Toastmasters Club to be a distinguished club, let’s work together as a team to make that happen! I believe we can.
When I read about the World Champion of Public Speaking 2008, I was very excited and inspired because it was a woman! Do you have any idea how many woman has ever won this title? Since this contest began in 1938, only four women have ever won this title!
And LaShunda Rundles from Dallas, Texas is the first African-American woman ever to win this prestigious competition. Her contest speech, “Speak” encouraged people to use their voices to change the world. As a lupus survivor, she plans to become the national spokesperson for the Lupus Foundation of America.
In her own words, she said
“People who do not understand lupus do not have an idea of what I deal with each day. There are thousands of people living in pain daily.
I want to raise money, awareness, and understanding. I don’t want people to live with the shame that I did for many years wanting to hide it. My skin is not flawless, my scars are many, but my resolve is unbreakable. I want to bring hope to the lives of those that know what it is really like to have a “good” day. As the awareness grows the quality of life for many people will mean many more “good” days and better yet restful nights. In a world of limited resources we have to fight for our piece of the pie.
I lost a friend of mine who was 28 and died blind and in a wheelchair with lupus. If I can help prevent things like that through my voice, it would be a blessing and an honor.”
Wow, what an inspiration! To think that we can change our world through our voices. We can speak up for what’s right and what’s true. Whatever your goals in life, whatever your dreams, whatever your aspirations, make them happen.
May Toastmasters be the place and platform where you start to make things happen by honing your listening, thinking and speaking skills. I thank the outgoing EXCO for their dedication, commitment and contributions to the club and I congratulate the incoming EXCO for their courage to take up the challenge of running this club. Together, we will make things happen for Katong Toastmasters Club and bring it to the next level.
The basement brainstorm
Opening Address July 2009
When people hear the word “basement” they’re more likely to picture mould and spiders than the birth place of a global communication and leadership training organization. But a basement is exactly where the first toastmasters meeting was held.
Ralph Smedley, the founder of Toastmasters International, worked as director of education for a Young Men’s Christian Association or YMCA after he graduated from college. He observed that many of the young men needed “training in the art of public speaking and in presiding over meetings”. So what did he do? Did he merely wish for them to become better? No, he made things happen. How?
First, he decided on a training format. He chose a format similar to a social club to attract people to join.
Second, he named his group “The Toastmasters Club” to suggest a pleasant, social atmosphere appealing to young men. During the early 1900s the word “toastmaster” referred to a person who proposed the toasts and introduced the speakers at a banquet.
Third, he got together a group of young men from YMCA in Santa Ana, California in 1924 and they met in a basement for their first meeting to practice speaking in a supportive, informal atmosphere.
The seedling club blossomed. Word spread about Smedley’s YMCA experiment and soon people in other communities and even other states began asking for permission and help to start their own Toastmasters meetings. Today, thanks to Ralph Smedley’s “basement brainstorm”, there are more than 12,000 Toastmasters clubs and more than 250,000 members in 106 countries. Thanks to Ralph Smedley, we are gathered here tonight to enjoy the benefits of Toastmasters.
Fellow toastmasters, ladies and gentlemen, is there something in your workplace or at home that needs improvement? Then don’t just wish for things to be better. Make things better.
For myself, I wanted to improve our club’s presence in cyberspace so I’ve updated our website and started a facebook account for our club. Your support and feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please look for Joni Siah in Facebook and add me as a friend. Then I will link you to our club page. This is where we can share photos and event information and hold animated discussions over issues pertaining to our club. Make your presence felt. Join me in FACEBOOK.
In conclusion,
Don’t watch things happen,
Don’t wonder what happen,
MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!
When people hear the word “basement” they’re more likely to picture mould and spiders than the birth place of a global communication and leadership training organization. But a basement is exactly where the first toastmasters meeting was held.
Ralph Smedley, the founder of Toastmasters International, worked as director of education for a Young Men’s Christian Association or YMCA after he graduated from college. He observed that many of the young men needed “training in the art of public speaking and in presiding over meetings”. So what did he do? Did he merely wish for them to become better? No, he made things happen. How?
First, he decided on a training format. He chose a format similar to a social club to attract people to join.
Second, he named his group “The Toastmasters Club” to suggest a pleasant, social atmosphere appealing to young men. During the early 1900s the word “toastmaster” referred to a person who proposed the toasts and introduced the speakers at a banquet.
Third, he got together a group of young men from YMCA in Santa Ana, California in 1924 and they met in a basement for their first meeting to practice speaking in a supportive, informal atmosphere.
The seedling club blossomed. Word spread about Smedley’s YMCA experiment and soon people in other communities and even other states began asking for permission and help to start their own Toastmasters meetings. Today, thanks to Ralph Smedley’s “basement brainstorm”, there are more than 12,000 Toastmasters clubs and more than 250,000 members in 106 countries. Thanks to Ralph Smedley, we are gathered here tonight to enjoy the benefits of Toastmasters.
Fellow toastmasters, ladies and gentlemen, is there something in your workplace or at home that needs improvement? Then don’t just wish for things to be better. Make things better.
For myself, I wanted to improve our club’s presence in cyberspace so I’ve updated our website and started a facebook account for our club. Your support and feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please look for Joni Siah in Facebook and add me as a friend. Then I will link you to our club page. This is where we can share photos and event information and hold animated discussions over issues pertaining to our club. Make your presence felt. Join me in FACEBOOK.
In conclusion,
Don’t watch things happen,
Don’t wonder what happen,
MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Opening Address November 2009
When I joined Toastmasters, it took me many years to pluck up the courage to take part in a humorous speech contest. I had limiting beliefs that I was not funny and I could not possibly make anyone laugh. Better not embarrass myself.
But recently at our club's humorous speech contest, two of our newer members took part in the contest although they had less than one year's experience in Toastmasters. Either they were very gullible to believe the VPE when he said it was compulsory for all members to take part in the contest, or they had the courage to TRY. I believe it was the latter.
During the contest, I happened to be seated next to a judge. One of the new members was the first contestant. When he opened his mouth to speak, the judge tactlessly commented to me, "Wah, like that also can take part in contest!" I was peeved but that was not a good time to give him a piece of my mind. If not for my self-control and self-restraint, the judge might have ended up on the floor with a bleeding nose. Thankfully I am a civilised person.
I did not get a chance to tell the judge what I thought that day, but this is what I would have said, "TO TRY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE GOOD; BUT TO BE GOOD, YOU MUST TRY!"
The wonderful thing about Toastmasters is that it provides us with the opportunities to try out many different speaking roles, be it as a speaker, evaluator or TME and so on. If you were given the opportunity to be a project evaluator, a language evaluator or a contestant, what would your response be? Would you say YES enthusiastically? Or like most people, reject the offer with reasons like 'I'm not experienced enough', 'I don't know how to be an evaluator' etc.
True, for certain roles such as TME or project evaluator, some experience is required. But most of the time, it is our limiting beliefs that stops us from trying. If you feel you are inadequate to take on a role, do realise that there are many things you can do about it. You can attend workshops that teach you skills you need (such as LE workshops), you can observe more experienced toastmasters, you can read up on resources on the internet or get your mentor to share his/her experiences with you.
So the next time opportunity comes knocking on your door, what will your response be? When your beloved club President or VPE calls you and says, 'Nik, would you like to be the LE for our next chapter meeting?' or 'Tarwin, would you like to take part in the Table Topics Contest?', or 'Ben, would you like to serve in the EXCO next term?', don't say NO. Instead, embrace the opportunity and take actions to empower yourself to take on the role. And remember, "TO TRY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE GOOD; BUT TO BE GOOD, YOU MUST TRY!"
But recently at our club's humorous speech contest, two of our newer members took part in the contest although they had less than one year's experience in Toastmasters. Either they were very gullible to believe the VPE when he said it was compulsory for all members to take part in the contest, or they had the courage to TRY. I believe it was the latter.
During the contest, I happened to be seated next to a judge. One of the new members was the first contestant. When he opened his mouth to speak, the judge tactlessly commented to me, "Wah, like that also can take part in contest!" I was peeved but that was not a good time to give him a piece of my mind. If not for my self-control and self-restraint, the judge might have ended up on the floor with a bleeding nose. Thankfully I am a civilised person.
I did not get a chance to tell the judge what I thought that day, but this is what I would have said, "TO TRY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE GOOD; BUT TO BE GOOD, YOU MUST TRY!"
The wonderful thing about Toastmasters is that it provides us with the opportunities to try out many different speaking roles, be it as a speaker, evaluator or TME and so on. If you were given the opportunity to be a project evaluator, a language evaluator or a contestant, what would your response be? Would you say YES enthusiastically? Or like most people, reject the offer with reasons like 'I'm not experienced enough', 'I don't know how to be an evaluator' etc.
True, for certain roles such as TME or project evaluator, some experience is required. But most of the time, it is our limiting beliefs that stops us from trying. If you feel you are inadequate to take on a role, do realise that there are many things you can do about it. You can attend workshops that teach you skills you need (such as LE workshops), you can observe more experienced toastmasters, you can read up on resources on the internet or get your mentor to share his/her experiences with you.
So the next time opportunity comes knocking on your door, what will your response be? When your beloved club President or VPE calls you and says, 'Nik, would you like to be the LE for our next chapter meeting?' or 'Tarwin, would you like to take part in the Table Topics Contest?', or 'Ben, would you like to serve in the EXCO next term?', don't say NO. Instead, embrace the opportunity and take actions to empower yourself to take on the role. And remember, "TO TRY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE GOOD; BUT TO BE GOOD, YOU MUST TRY!"
Thursday, October 15, 2009
AREA Z3 HUMOROUS SPEECH & EVALUATION CONTEST - 1st October 2009
No pain, no gain. There is so much truth in this saying. Why? Because each time you go through the stress (read pain!) of organising a contest, you grow in your organisational and leadership skills. Delegating has always been one of my weaker areas. At the club contest in September, I ended up preparing a lot of the stuff myself. This time round for the area contest, I delegated as much work as I possibly could.
Still, I ended up with a lot of loose ends and details that I overlooked. Like not having an extra SD card to take videos of the contestants, not having blank paper for judges and contestants to take notes. Not only that, one of the air-cons in the room broke down (on a positive note, it gave us a warm audience) and there were not enough chairs - it was literally full-house. The food was also insufficient. Areas for improvement...
In my closing address, I was able to draw laughter from the audience by tapping on the contestants' earlier humorous speeches. But oops, I forgot to mention the chief judge and judges when thanking everyone for helping out in the contests. It will definitely help to write down the key points and run through them in my mind before I go up to speak.
Next assignment: contest chair for the Division Z contest on 10 October 2009.
Still, I ended up with a lot of loose ends and details that I overlooked. Like not having an extra SD card to take videos of the contestants, not having blank paper for judges and contestants to take notes. Not only that, one of the air-cons in the room broke down (on a positive note, it gave us a warm audience) and there were not enough chairs - it was literally full-house. The food was also insufficient. Areas for improvement...
In my closing address, I was able to draw laughter from the audience by tapping on the contestants' earlier humorous speeches. But oops, I forgot to mention the chief judge and judges when thanking everyone for helping out in the contests. It will definitely help to write down the key points and run through them in my mind before I go up to speak.
Next assignment: contest chair for the Division Z contest on 10 October 2009.
LANGUAGE EVALUATION @ ULU PANDAN TMC
LANGUAGE EVALUATION @ ULU PANDAN TMC on 6 OCTOBER 2009
Word of the day:
delirious (adjective): extremely excited and happy
She was delirious with joy when the compere announced that she was the winner.
deliriously (adverb): The crowds cheered deliriously when the home team scored a goal.
delirium (noun): Not able to think or speak in a rational way because of illness or fever.
I thought I was suffering from delirium.
BRICKBATS
VOCABULARY:
INCORRECT USAGE CORRECTION
1. Ms club president Madam President
2. maximum number of oxygen maximum amount of oxygen
3. all of us are guilty with.. all of us are guilty of
4. she did well by bringing up a visual aid she did well by displaying a visual aid
5. She would have improved better if.. she would have improved if …
6. What she could have do… what she could have done
7. Use the six steps to do a better project use the six steps to present a better project
8. Which I will come and address later which I will address later in my speech
9. What is the main message you want What is the main message you want to share with the audience?
to say?
10. It is very inspiration. It is very inspirational.
11. Persistency persistence (noun) or persistently (adverb)
SENTENCE STRUCTURE:
1. May be young, may be matured or any group of age..
Correction: may be young, may be old or any age…
2. It feels a sense of achievement.
Correction: I felt a sense of achievement.
3. … which I am completing in next year June.
Correction: …which I am completing in June next year.
4. I’m still in a shocked state.
Correction: I’m still in a state of shock.
BOUQUETS
ALLITERATION:
born and bred in Singapore
efforts and expertise
busy as a bee
POWER OF THREE:
I was shocked, embarrassed and angry.
Military training, thinking, tactics
upkeep, upgrade, update
physical, mental and social well-being
RHYME:
gabra like zebra
survive but to thrive
PARALLEL STRUCTURE:
What you want to do when you want to do it.
ACRONYM:
Use of acronym ARMY for evaluation points:
ARMY: ACES, REASONS, MY OPINIONS, YARDSTICK
I had failed to give credit to Seh Leng for the use of power of three in her Table Topic speech. She mentioned that there are three family members born in the years of the CHINESE zodiac sign of the TIGER. She ascribed each of them with a characteristic: Her grandmother is domineering, her father is chauvinistic and her brother is assertive, “a tiger in the making”. An excellent use of the power of three!
Word of the day:
delirious (adjective): extremely excited and happy
She was delirious with joy when the compere announced that she was the winner.
deliriously (adverb): The crowds cheered deliriously when the home team scored a goal.
delirium (noun): Not able to think or speak in a rational way because of illness or fever.
I thought I was suffering from delirium.
BRICKBATS
VOCABULARY:
INCORRECT USAGE CORRECTION
1. Ms club president Madam President
2. maximum number of oxygen maximum amount of oxygen
3. all of us are guilty with.. all of us are guilty of
4. she did well by bringing up a visual aid she did well by displaying a visual aid
5. She would have improved better if.. she would have improved if …
6. What she could have do… what she could have done
7. Use the six steps to do a better project use the six steps to present a better project
8. Which I will come and address later which I will address later in my speech
9. What is the main message you want What is the main message you want to share with the audience?
to say?
10. It is very inspiration. It is very inspirational.
11. Persistency persistence (noun) or persistently (adverb)
SENTENCE STRUCTURE:
1. May be young, may be matured or any group of age..
Correction: may be young, may be old or any age…
2. It feels a sense of achievement.
Correction: I felt a sense of achievement.
3. … which I am completing in next year June.
Correction: …which I am completing in June next year.
4. I’m still in a shocked state.
Correction: I’m still in a state of shock.
BOUQUETS
ALLITERATION:
born and bred in Singapore
efforts and expertise
busy as a bee
POWER OF THREE:
I was shocked, embarrassed and angry.
Military training, thinking, tactics
upkeep, upgrade, update
physical, mental and social well-being
RHYME:
gabra like zebra
survive but to thrive
PARALLEL STRUCTURE:
What you want to do when you want to do it.
ACRONYM:
Use of acronym ARMY for evaluation points:
ARMY: ACES, REASONS, MY OPINIONS, YARDSTICK
I had failed to give credit to Seh Leng for the use of power of three in her Table Topic speech. She mentioned that there are three family members born in the years of the CHINESE zodiac sign of the TIGER. She ascribed each of them with a characteristic: Her grandmother is domineering, her father is chauvinistic and her brother is assertive, “a tiger in the making”. An excellent use of the power of three!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Project Evaluation of P4
Last week, I had the joy of visiting NUS Alumni TMC to evaluate a Project 4 speech. The speech title was "There are no ugly women, only lazy ones". P4 focuses on use of words, rhetorical devices and proper grammar and pronunciation.
My evaluation points included two commendations (IR) and two recommendations (GP).
COMMENDATIONS:
I Introduction
The speaker uses questions in her introduction to engage the audience. The questions were direct and simple to understand, which allowed the audience to respond easily.
R Rhetorical devices
The speaker was able to use rhetorical devices such as alliteration (e.g. picture perfect, ladies are lovely, forefront of fashion) and metaphors (e.g. gentle bashful guys transform into women-hungry wolves, for every cloud there is a silver lining) to spice up her speech.
RECOMMENDATIONS:
G Grammar
Incorrect grammar was used in some instances. For example, in the sentence "I was expecting for more", for is redundant. The phrase "to bring around him and his friends from Germany" is better rephrased as "to bring him and his friends from Germany around Singapore". In the phrase "we went into great lengths", the correct preposition should be to, as in "we went to great lengths".
P Pronunciation
Pronunciation of some words were incorrect. For example, 'infamous', 'fizzled off' and 'gigantic'.
In conclusion, leverage on your strengths of using questions to engage the audience and rhetorical devices to emphasize your points. Work on your grammar and pronunciation and rehearse your speech to perfection. Then you will be able to dazzle your audience with speeches that exhibit greater finesse and pizzazz.
My evaluation points included two commendations (IR) and two recommendations (GP).
COMMENDATIONS:
I Introduction
The speaker uses questions in her introduction to engage the audience. The questions were direct and simple to understand, which allowed the audience to respond easily.
R Rhetorical devices
The speaker was able to use rhetorical devices such as alliteration (e.g. picture perfect, ladies are lovely, forefront of fashion) and metaphors (e.g. gentle bashful guys transform into women-hungry wolves, for every cloud there is a silver lining) to spice up her speech.
RECOMMENDATIONS:
G Grammar
Incorrect grammar was used in some instances. For example, in the sentence "I was expecting for more", for is redundant. The phrase "to bring around him and his friends from Germany" is better rephrased as "to bring him and his friends from Germany around Singapore". In the phrase "we went into great lengths", the correct preposition should be to, as in "we went to great lengths".
P Pronunciation
Pronunciation of some words were incorrect. For example, 'infamous', 'fizzled off' and 'gigantic'.
In conclusion, leverage on your strengths of using questions to engage the audience and rhetorical devices to emphasize your points. Work on your grammar and pronunciation and rehearse your speech to perfection. Then you will be able to dazzle your audience with speeches that exhibit greater finesse and pizzazz.
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