District 80 Evaluation Contest 2010

Winning the District 80 Evaluation Contest in 2010 was a dream come true for me. When the contest chair announced my name, I could not believe my ears! Tears sprang to my eyes. And I am grateful to my club members Elaine, Benjamin, Nik and Ida who came to support me.

This was the evaluation speech that helped me win the champion trophy at the District 80 Evaluation Contest last year.  Kindly transcribed by Gerald Ong.

Contest Chair, fellow toastmasters, ladies and gentlemen, a very good afternoon to all of you, especially to my dear friend here, Amelia.

The wonder of Toastmasters is that it can transform you from a mediocre speaker into a mesmerizing presenter and I have seen that transformation in Amelia. And this afternoon, her presentation is worthy of an A grade, which her name also starts with A. I am going to use the 3 As to expound on her strengths.

The First A is an appropriate topic.Your topic is about the pursuit of perfection and it is relevant to all of us. In toastmasters here, we are here to pursue perfection as well as communication and leadership
skills.

The second A is anecdotes. You were able to use anecdotes effectively and you drew them from your personal life, involving your son and daughter as well from your work life.

And the third A is for animated. You were very animated as a speaker. You were able to use vocal variety, as well as appropriate gestures. You also used the stage area very effectively. So those are the 3 As that helped you score an A for your performance today.

But how can you go from being an A grade performer to become an A* grade performer? This is where I am going to share 3Ps, which will turn you into a more poised and polished speaker.

The 1st P (you are supposed to take notes now) is to plan pointers in your speech content. For me, I am a very logical person. I like it to be numbered like 1,2,3 or in acronyms ABC, or all As or all Ps. That's my style. I found it a little hard to follow your speech. I would have preferred you to plan some pointers. For example, by telling us that to pursue perfection, there are 3 ways that you can do it. Like number 1 from your personal life, number 2 in your work life, and number 3 on a global scale. You go through these 3 points. On the first point, these are what we can take note of. On the second point, these are what we can take note of and so on. I felt if you had done that, it would help the audience follow your points more logically.

The Second P is to polish your language. There was a few pronunciation as well as grammatical errors in your presentation. You were able to polish that up, that will make you come across as a more poised and polished speaker. For example, you asked 'Is there a such thing called perfect?' when you should have said, “Is there such a thing called Perfection?” This is some of the little things that you may want to tune up.

And the third P is to plan a memorable conclusion, because the audience remembers best what they hear last. So if you want the audience here to follow your advice and to keep improving, keep innovating and keep pursuing perfection then you have to bring that message across strongly to them. And I would suggest in your conclusion, stand still and bring across that message in a loud and powerful voice, instead of pacing, which you were doing at the last part.

In conclusion, Amelia, 3As that helped score A, appropriate Topic, anecdotes and you were animated as a speaker – and finally worked on the 3Ps: plan pointers, polish up your language, plan a memorable conclusion. With that, you will become a very powerful speaker.

Back to you, Contest Chair.

Katong TMC Evaluation Contest 2010

Joyce, thank you for sharing the beautiful melody of your speech about cherishing our loved ones.
Tonight I would like to share with you 3 commendations and 3 recommendations.

Firstly, I would like to share about your strengths as a speaker using the 3 Ses.

The 1st S is for smooth delivery of our speech.  You were fluent and confident as a speaker and able to overcome any nervousness you may have felt.

The 2nd S is for sincerity. You shared with us heartfelt emotions in your speech and even admitted at one point that you were too busy for your grandmother.  Your honesty and sincerity as a speaker has certainly moved us.

The 3rd S is for stories. You used stories in your speech to effectively bring across your message, that we should learn to cherish our loved ones before it is too late. I especially liked how you used two different stories to show contrast between your friend's and your own attitude.

How could you have improved on the speech? Allow me to show with your 3 areas of improvement using the 3Es.

The 1st E is for expression.  You appeared rather serious and sombre most of the time.  Perhaps you could lighten up and be more expressive.  Vary your facial expressions to show impatience or sadness or disappointment to reinforce your storytelling.

The 2nd E is for energy.  The energy of your speech was a bit low, how can we lift up the energy level? Use vocal variety and dramatic gestures where appropriate to create more energy in your speech.

The 3rd E is for effective use of grammar.  There were a few mistakes in your presentation (forgot to note down the examples...) so do make an effort to rehearse more so that these can be avoided. Correct grammar will help you to appear more credible as a speaker.

In conclusion, continue to use the 3Ses smooth delivery, sincerity and stories to mesmerize your audience. Work on the 3Es expression, energy and effective use of grammar, and you will be able to become a more poised and proficient speaker.

Evaluation of Leena's P1 speech

Leena, you lead such a colourful life and you've certainly been to places! We are indeed very glad that Katong TMC is now one of the threads in the tapestry of your life.

I shall share with you the three strong points you already have as a speaker, using the letter S.

The first S is for structure. Your speech was well-structured with a clear opening, body and conclusion.
There were 3 main points in your speech and you indicated them clearly by using linking words such as 'the first thread is..', 'another thread is..' and 'the last thread'..

The second S is sense of humour.  You made us laugh when sharing about your role as a mother, how 'the pay is non-existent, the benefits are scarce and the hours are long' and on another occasion when you shared an anecdote about using the trump card against your husband.  You are able to weave humour into your speech and use it naturally.

The third S is for sensational use of language.  You are a polished speaker and you used a beautiful analogy comparing your life to tapestry.  Your theme was consistent with the use of words and phrases like 'the threads are vibrant', 'woven together', 'unfinished tapestry' and 'continues to weave'.

There are two areas for improvement I would like to suggest, using the acronym CD.

Firstly, C for create impact in  your introduction.  You started with a whole long list of activities such as 'riding in a jeep', 'hiking', 'biking' and 'trekking'. You can create impact by using dramatic gestures and vocal variety when talking about each of the activity.

Secondly, D is for dress to impress.  The toastmasters platform is a formal one and we advise speakers to dress formally.  Our audience form their first impression of us within the first few seconds they see us and dressing to impress as a speaker is as important as delivering a well-prepared speech.

In conclusion, you have many strengths as a speaker and they include structure, sense of humour and sensational use of language. Learn to create impact in your introductions and dress to impress and you will be on your way to becoming a sensational speaker.

Evaluation of P4 speech @ AIA Changi on 13 January 2011

Thank you for sharing with us a wonderful story entitled 'Bitter things taste sweet' about how little things can make a big difference.  Project 4 requires you to focus on the use of language to enhance your speech.

Today you performed well in three areas:
(1) simple, short and clear words were used;
(2) sentences used were generally short, simple and easy to understand;
(3) story-telling involving a personal experience was an excellent choice as it helped you to avoid jargon.

There is no shortcut to success in public speaking.  To become an outstanding, exceptional and brilliant speaker, you need to invest time and effort to write, re-write and rehearse your speech before you deliver it.

Allow me to share with you 3 areas of improvement in terms of your language use:
(1) Use vivid, descriptive words that create mental images in the minds of the audience.
For example, 'There was a tent outside the school. It was teeming with parents.  The whole place was abuzz with excitement.' OR
'The children were singing with great gusto while their parents looked on beaming with pride.'

(2) Use rhetorical devices such as alliteration, similes and triads.
For example, 'children with chubby cherubic faces', 'they devoured the food like ravenous wolves' and 'we were delighted to witness their talent, passion and enthusiasm'.

(3) Use proper grammar and pronunciation.
Some grammatical mistakes:
'quite further from the city', 'they have a tent outside the school', 'the parents are there' (instead of 'were there'), 'I didn't expect there to be that many'...

In this evaluation, I have focused on your language use.  I would strongly recommend that you re-do this speech.  Change the speech title, craft the speech, and learn to harness the power of words to give a speech that will move hearts.

I know some toastmasters feel it's such a 'shame' or embarrassment to be told to repeat a speech project. But I assured the speaker that the true objective is about learning and mastering the specific skill each project is focusing on.  There is no point in moving on to the next speech when you have not reasonably mastered the current skill.  I even promised to help her edit her script if she is willing. Unfortunately, that was not to be.  Most toastmasters seek the easy way out by breezing through the project speeches regardless of the standard of speaking or whether the objectives have been met. That is a sad, sad state of affairs.

Project Evaluation of AP5

One week after presenting my AP5 The Abstract Concept, I had the opportunity to evaluate the same project speech at NUSS TMC.  Voted Best Evaluator!

The speaker's topic was Marslow's hierarchy of needs.  As I mulled over the points to commend and recommend, I remembered Wekie Tay's powerful use of alliterative triads which helped him clinch the championship at the Area Z3 Evaluation contest 2009.

As I played around with my points, alliterative triads came into play as well, to my absolute delight.

This was what I included in my evaluation.

COMMENDATIONS: 3Es

Encompassing - The speech encompassed different aspects of informative speech such as definitions, examples, visual aids and a quotation.

Explanation - The concept was clearly explained and illustrated with a diagram to demonstrate the hierarchy in the different needs listed.

Example - An example was used to demonstrate how the Marslow's theory of hierarchy of needs can be applied to the workplace environment, showing its relevance to our daily lives.

RECOMMENDATIONS: 3Ps

Placement of laptop - Logistics setup is important.  Place the laptop where you can easily view the slides from it without having to turn your head to view the slide on the projector screen.

Pictures - Include more pictures in the powerpoint presentation as pictures speak a thousand words.  The slides were too wordy.

Personal anecdotes - Include these in your speech to enliven and energise your speech.

In conclusion, continue to use the 3Es to excel in your presentation and consider the 3Ps to make your presentation more powerful, and you will be on your way to becoming an impactful informative speaker.

Evaluation of AP1 The folktale

Evaluation of AP1 project from the Storytelling Manual: The folktale
Speech title: The Story of Bukit Merah 

Everyone loves a good story.  I would like to commend the speaker for choosing such an interesting story that explains how Bukit Merah, which means Red Hill, got its name.  It gave us an insight into the history of Singapore.

The second commendation is the use of the questioning technique at the beginning of the speech.  The speaker asked 'Do you know what is the meaning of Bukit Merah?'  to arouse the interest of the audience.

I would like to share 5 recommendations on how the speaker could have made his story come alive by using the acronym ALIVE.

A is for action.  Everyone loves a story that is full of action.  Be animated and energetic and use appropriate gestures to dramatise your story.  For example, when you mentioned the red lava erupting from the hill, you can use a sweeping gesture to demonstrate the intensity of the action. 

L is for language.  Use words that your audience understands.  When you used the word 'rajah', which is a Malay word, explain its meaning.  When you mentioned 'garfish', I had no idea what you were talking about.  Also as the story was in the past, use past tense consistently instead of switching between past and present tense.  Polish your use of the language to make your story easy for the audience to understand.

I is for interest.  How do you maintain the audience's interest throughout your story?  The manual advises that stories be well paced, with few dull spots.  At times, the speaker hesitated during the storytelling, indicating uncertainty.  More rehearsals would have enabled the speaker to deliver with greater fluency.

V is for vocal variety - the all-important ingredient in storytelling.  Vary your volume, rate and tempo more to enhance your story.  The part in the story when 'the red lava of the hill erupted and swallowed the Rajah's advisor', be loud and dramatic to create a climax.

E is for ending.  Give your story a memorable ending by sharing a moral or a take-home message, instead of allowing the story to tail off. 

In conclusion, storytelling is a great skill that is not easy to master.  Continue to use questioning techniques to your advantage.  Learn to leverage on gestures, vocal variety and simple, correct language to sustain your audience's interest and to make your stories come alive.  Always end off with a bang.

Time taken: 3 min 28 seconds

Project Evaluation of P4

Last week, I had the joy of visiting NUS Alumni TMC to evaluate a Project 4 speech.  The speech title was "There are no ugly women, only lazy ones".  P4 focuses on use of words, rhetorical devices and proper grammar and pronunciation.

My evaluation points included two commendations (IR) and two recommendations (GP).
COMMENDATIONS:
I Introduction
The speaker uses questions in her introduction to engage the audience.  The questions were direct and simple to understand, which allowed the audience to respond easily.

R Rhetorical devices
The speaker was able to use rhetorical devices such as alliteration (e.g. picture perfect, ladies are lovely, forefront of fashion) and metaphors (e.g. gentle bashful guys transform into women-hungry wolves, for every cloud there is a silver lining) to spice up her speech.

RECOMMENDATIONS:
G Grammar
Incorrect grammar was used in some instances.  For example, in the sentence "I was expecting for more", for is redundant.  The phrase "to bring around him and his friends from Germany" is better rephrased as "to bring him and his friends from Germany around Singapore".   In the phrase "we went into great lengths", the correct preposition should be to, as in "we went to great lengths".

P Pronunciation
Pronunciation of some words were incorrect. For example, 'infamous', 'fizzled off' and 'gigantic'. 

In conclusion, leverage on your strengths of using questions to engage the audience and rhetorical devices to emphasize your points.  Work on your grammar and pronunciation and rehearse your speech to perfection. Then you will be able to dazzle your audience with speeches that exhibit greater finesse and pizzazz.

Evaluation of AP3 The Monodrama

EVALUATION OF AP3 THE MONODRAMA
@ TAMPINES CHANGKAT TMC
ON THURSDAY 6 AUG 2009

Good evening fellow toastmasters, ladies and gentlemen, and especially toastmaster Constance. Thank you for your amazing rendition of ‘Unrequited Love’. How many of you here agree with Shakespeare that ‘love is blind’? It has been said that before marriage, you should close one eye, after marriage, close both eyes. That’s why love is blind. Thank you for sharing about “love’s sheer power to alter and define our lives”.

I would like to highlight your strengths and areas for improvement using two acronyms ACT and ACE. Let’s start with your strengths using the acronym ACT.

A Attention-grabbing and apt selection of music
It was an excellent move to use music to accompany your rendition as the piece of music you had selected really sets the mood for the prose on ‘unrequited love’.

C Choice of prose
The choice of your prose was relevant and something the audience can easily identify with as all of us need love and most of us have experienced rejection at some point in our lives. The prose is beautifully written and very moving. Listening to the words brought tears to my eyes.

T Timing
The timing for your speech was perfect. You ended your rendition just as the music ended. I believed you had achieved this perfection in timing due to the effort you’ve put into rehearsals.

What are some ways you can improve on your performance tonight? Let me share with you three recommendations using the acronym ACE.

A Avoid preamble
Preamble is what you say in the beginning that is irrelevant to your speech. Though amusing, I felt your introduction was not relevant. Let the TME do the job of explaining the nature of interpretive reading. In your 45-seconds introduction, focus solely on what your monodrama is about. Tell us that this prose was articulated by Kate Winslet’s character in the movie ‘The Holiday’ and explain a little about the character so that we understand the context of the prose.

C Clear presentation
Project your voice so that everyone can hear you clearly. At times I was straining to hear you even though I was seated in the first row.

E Express your emotions
This project requires you to use voice and body to convey the mental, emotional and physical characteristics of the person. The use of script greatly limited the use of your body. Either memorise the script or place it on the lectern to free your hands for gestures. There was some vocal variety but it could be greatly enhanced. Extend the range of your vocal variety so that you can fully capture the sadness, the desperation and hope expressed in the prose.

Thank you for an amazing ACT. For your next project, give an appropriate introduction, project your voice so that we can hear you loud and clear, and freely express your emotions using body language and vocal variety. Then you will be on your way to ACE your future project speeches.

Division Z Evaluation Contest 2008

DIVISION Z EVALUATION CONTEST 2008
EVALUATION OF HIJAZI’S SPEECH “THE ECONOMICS OF RELATIONSHIP”

This was the evaluation speech that helped me win the contest:
(Transcribed from video)

Good afternoon, fellow toastmasters, ladies and gentlemen, and especially toastmaster Hijazi. I would like to commend you on giving us a fabulous speech today. And let me share with you why your speech was fabulous using the acronym FAB.

Firstly, you were funny. Everytime I hear you speak, you never fail to tickle my funny bones. I think you really gave the contestants a run for their money. Let me share with you in what way you were funny. You used exaggeration, you used meaningful stares, as well as a very interesting analogy comparing women to the stock market. I think the audience loved that.

A for audience participation. You made use of audience participation by asking them questions and getting them to raise their hands. You also gave them fill-in-the-blanks. And I think the audience enjoyed that as well. So audience participation was great.

And B for body language. You had effective use of body language. You were very animated. There were times when you did this (punch fist into other palm), or used your fingers to emphasize certain points. So well done on those 3 points.

Now I want to share with you 3 ways in which you can improve on your speech today. I want to give you recommendations on how you can improve on the content and organization of your speech. Let me run through the 3 points using OBC: Opening, body and conclusion, which is the basic structure of how we have all been advised to structure our speeches.

Opening. Opening is very important because that is where you grab the audience’s attention. Yes, you had the use of questioning techniques but were your questions relevant to your topic? No. Because your topic is The Economics of Relationship but instead you asked questions about the economy, which was not relevant. So when you want to use the questioning technique, choose your questions carefully. Make sure they are relevant to your topic.

Next, body of your speech. In the body of your speech, you have 3 tips. You spent a lot of time on the first tip ‘Act against normality’, you had anecdotes and you had advice. Your 2nd point ‘diversity’, you spent a moderate amount of time and then you just skim the last point. So your three tips were not well-balanced. So this is something you can look at. How can you manage your 3 tips so that you can spend equal amounts of time.

Last one, conclusion. There is a saying: “the audience remembers best what they hear last.” So conclude with a bang. And this is something you failed to do today because you were rushing for time. You saw the red light and you stopped. That detracted from the power of your speech. So what I want to say to you is: Craft a memorable ending because when you end with a bang, your audience will remember you for a long time to come.

So you are a talented speaker, humorous by nature. And in my humble opinion, if you are able to incorporate these advice by giving us a grand opening, a balanced body and a wonderful conclusion, then you will be able to give a speech with greater pizzazz and finesse.

Contest chair

(TIME TAKEN: 3 min 6 sec)

This was the first time I had won in a Division contest so it's a breakthrough for me, especially since I had strong competitiors in the likes of Wee Meng, Wekie Tay & Christine Lim.

It's also the first time I watched myself performing on video! The first time I watched it, I cringed, but after a while, I got used to it. Haha.. On reviewing my transcribed evaluation speech, I realised I used 'so' quite a lot. That's something to take note of and cut down on. Thankfully, I managed the points and timing quite well.

Evaluation of AP5 Speech at AIA Changi

9 JULY 2009 THURSDAY
AIA CHANGI TMC

Project Evaluation for AP5 Speech
from The Entertaining Speaker manual
SPEAKER: Cheng Jia Yi

Introduction:
You are the very embodiment of your speech title, ‘Never judge a book by its cover’. Looking at your petite and demure appearance, who would have thought you could be so entertaining as well?

Strengths: (using the acronym AIA)
A ANTICIPATION
By telling the audience “The next thing I am going to show you will be a feast for your eyes!”, you used a teaser to create anticipation. That attracts the listeners’ attention and keeps them at the edge of their seats. An excellent move!

I IMPECCABLE USE OF LANGUAGE
I was immensely impressed by your impeccable use of the language. You incorporated various rhetorical devices such as metaphors, alliteration, triads and parallel structure. Examples included ‘tall and thin’, ‘slim, sleek and slender’, ‘emanate an aura of sophistication; exude an air of elegance’.

A AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION
You asked the audience relevant questions such as “What do you think is the difference between Category 1 and Category 2 ladies?” and “Why do ladies wear heels?” and gave them time to respond. In so doing, you keep the audience involved and interested and built rapport with them as well.

Areas for improvement: (using the acronym PIE)
P PRACTICE
As the saying goes, ‘Practice makes perfect’. Rehearse your speech so well that you will not forget your lines. When you forget and freeze, it detracts from the power of your speech.

I IGNORE HECKLERS
Ignore hecklers who jive (talk rubbish). If you can give a comeback, great; if not, just ignore them and move on with your speech. Otherwise you may lose your train of thought or waste precious time.

E EXAGGERATE YOUR EXPRESSIONS
Exaggerate your expressions to up the entertainment value of the speech. You sounded quite serious at times so lighten up a bit more.

In conclusion, leverage on your strengths in AIA, and work on the areas represented by PIE, and you will be on the superhighway to success as an entertaining speaker.

Once again, acronyms saved the day. Voted Best Evaluator. Best advertisement for the upcoming Humorous Speech & Evaluation workshop which I will be presenting with Wee Meng.

GEMS:
Stretch out your wings and fly towards the dreams that await you.
(from Ma Luz's P1 speech)

P1 speaker Ma Luz Bondoc is a mother of seven (5 girls and 2 boys), aged 1 to 18, and she still looks slim, svelte and stunningly beautiful! Simply amazing!

Evaluation of P1 Speech at Marine Parade TMC

19 JUNE 2009 FRIDAY
MARINE PARADE TMC

Project Evaluation of P1 speech:

Strengths of the speaker:
(1) Fluency
(2) Good language use e.g. flamboyant, arduous
(3) Well-organised: speech followed chronological order of life events from birth, family, studies to marriage and toastmasters

Areas for improvement: (using the acronym ACE)
A Attention-grabbing speech title – keep it short and sweet
Avoid preamble – “This is my first project.. There is nothing special about me…” Launch straight into your speech and don’t put yourself down!

C Conclusion – End on a strong note, for example, use a quotation or share words of inspiration.

E Expression of emotions – only smiled twice during the speech, otherwise deadpan expression. Express anxiety when talking about ‘tough years’, express delight when talking about an ‘exhilirating experience’.

Voted Best Evaluator for the evening. I like the use of acronym for my points. Makes it easy for me to remember them. I believe the audience likes it too!

GEMS:
Speak clearly, correctly and creatively.
(alliteration, assonance and triad - a 3-in-1 rhetorical device. Powerful!)

Be insatiable in learning; be tireless in teaching.
(Use of parallel structure. Beautiful!)

From LE DTM Richard Sng