FROM FLAB TO FAB

All the women in my family are bottom heavy so having a pear-shaped figure is a genetic curse. When I was pregnant with my second child, I put on 20 hefty kilos. For once in my life, I understood the meaning of “heavyweight”. And for once in my life, I also understood how an elephant must feel, lumbering around with thunder thighs and a big bottom. It was no fun at all. I felt big, fat and flabby.

When I saw pretty mommies like Aarti and Ida, who remained slim despite having had kids, I was green with envy. I wanted to be just like them. When I witnessed Vera's speech about running a marathon and her svelte figure... I knew what I had to do. I have to run to lose weight!

The first time I ran, my thunder thighs were rubbing against each other, causing so much friction I was afraid I might catch fire! I felt unbearable itchiness. I stuck it out and after a few more runs, the itchy feeling faded. I started to enjoy the feeling of sweating it out each time I ran. I imagined the toxins and fats in my body melting away with my perspiration.

In the beginning, I started training short distances like 2.4km which means 6 rounds around the stadium track. I slowly increased to 7 rounds... 8 rounds... 9 rounds and 1 month later, I completed 10 rounds! 4km! What a milestone! I was elated. I went home and promptly shared my achievement with my mother. I ran 10 rounds today! I exclaimed proudly.  Instead of praising me, she frowned and said, Wa! You run so much for what? What if you suddenly collapse and die? You have two young kids you know!!

My friend Geri, an experienced runner, encouraged me to sign up for SHAPE 5km Run in August 2014. Since she was the instigator, she took it upon herself to be my de facto running coach. 

The first time I ran with Geri, I almost... died. She has these super long and lean legs like power kegs. Oh man, can she run. In fact she's so fast, she can run 5km in 29 mins, that's less than 6 min per km, mind you. So there she was running next to me and observing me and correcting my form... lift up your feet more, swing your arms by the side, not across your body, take 3 breaths in and 1 breath out... It was overwhelming and intimidating but of course I was grateful. I mean there are people out there who pay for a personal coach but here I was getting free coaching. I can't complain right? But when I heard Geri say let's do a 30 second sprint, my heart almost stopped. Sprint?? Seriously? Before I could say no thanks, Geri said go! And she started tearing away like the wind. I pumped my legs and swung my hands as fast as I could to catch up with her. I was gasping like a goldfish and my lungs felt close to bursting. Those were the longest 30 seconds of my life! By the end of the 30 seconds, I was gulping for air! Phew! I survived the sprint! 

Geri and I got together some other exercise buffs and formed a running group. We meet on Saturday mornings for our runs. I am so glad for the members in our running group. They are infinitely encouraging. No matter how small my progress they would say, good job, well done. I eventually completed my first 5km run in 45 minutes. I’m a terribly slow runner but when I crossed the finish line, I experienced such an incredible high… in fact it’s a scientific fact that running releases endorphins in your body which makes you feel pleasure! You won’t even need coffee, alcohol or drugs! If you wanna get high, just run.

After that, I was bitten by the running bug and never stopped running. A few months later, I completed the Great Eastern women’s 10km run with my running buddies. 2 years of running has helped me to shed 4 kilos...moving me closer to a healthy BMI. To date, I have completed 7 10km runs. This year I also completed the Shape 15km run and the Straits Times 18.45km run. And I will be attempting my first half-marathon at the end of this month.

My running journey has brought me from Flab to Fab.  Where I used to feel flabby, lethargic, anemic and bloated, I now feel fit and accepting of my body. Besides the physical benefits, running has made me so much stronger mentally. I finally understand Napolean Hill's famous quote: “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, you can achieve.”  It has been a remarkable and rewarding journey and I would like to thank all my running buddies for being part of this journey.

Someone once said: “Running is so symbolic of life. You have to drive yourself to overcome the obstacles. You might feel that you can’t but then you find your inner strength, and realise you’re capable of so much more than you thought.”

(860 words)

Presented @ Katong TMC's Humorous Speech Contest on 18 August 2016

BECOME WHAT YOU BELIEVE

(Contest speech presented at Area Z3 International Speech Contest on 27 March at Katong Toastmasters Club)

Last year my friend gave me this book for Christmas because she knows that I love cakes. But what she didn’t know was that I can’t bake! When I flipped through the book, I would drool over each picture but to even think about baking them, I was overwhelmed to say the least. The recipes looked daunting and the ingredients list alone was enough to scare the living daylights out of me.

Good evening, fellow toastmasters and friends. Have any of you ever wished you could do something (like public speaking or paint or pole dance) but gave up trying even before you started simply because it seemed too daunting? Well, I totally understand how you feel.

It felt the same for me with regards to baking. My 3 best friends were wonderful bakers and would frequently whatsapp pictures of their culinary feats. And the worst thing? They would tell me how easy it is. How many of you here think baking is easy? Exactly my point! How can baking be easy? To prove her point, my friend Sharon gave us a hands-on demonstration at her house to bake Japanese light cheesecake. Her experience and deftness in measuring, sifting, beating sure made it look easy! 

I still had my reservations but I didn’t want to give up. A toastmaster never gives up! How else can you become a DTM? You must be Determined. I remember a quote by Henry Ford,

If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.

So I was determined to learn baking. I decided to make a cake that did not require baking. Did you even know there was such a thing? Amazing isn’t it? I embarked on my ‘baking journey’ by making a no bake cheesecake.  I googled for recipes and watched some youtube videos, went out excitedly to buy all the ingredients and equipment and I was ready to go.

Crush some biscuits and mix with butter to make the base, put it in the fridge to chill. Make the filling by beating cream cheese with some condensed milk, vanilla essence and lemon juice together. Pour onto the base, put into the fridge to set for a few hours and viola, I have just made a cheesecake! It was life transforming!

Now I could eat as much cake as I wanted, whenever I wanted. Of course I also shared the bounty with my family members. I am happy to report there were no instances of diarrheoa or food poisoning. My success spurred me on and I volunteered to make a cheesecake for my brother-in-law’s birthday.  I made an oreo cheesecake which received raving reviews. After that, I made another one for my niece’s birthday. It started to have a snowball effect.  

mini chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese frosting 

Later I moved on to baking cakes and cupcakes using cake mix. After I was comfortable with using the oven to bake, I started learning how to make cupcakes from scratch.  Tonight, I am delighted to share with you my handiwork.

This exciting journey in baking reveals how our attitudes affect our actions. Do you believe that you can do it? Then you can. You will do whatever it takes to make it happen! If you believe you can become a DTM, then you will become a DTM, because you will work hard to make it happen. I want to urge all of you, believe in yourself and you will become what you believe.

Is there is a mountain you want to climb? Go climb it. Is there is a marathon you want to run? Go run it. Is there is contest you want to win? Go win it! Don’t allow your fears, your doubts and your self-limiting beliefs to hold you back. If you don’t succeed the first time, try try again.

When I first became a toastmaster, I never thought I could take part in speech contests and win. The speakers at the first club I had joined were very strong speakers. Every year they would sweep the trophies. Nevertheless I kept taking part in contest every year until one year I was finally placed 2^nd runner up. A small victory.  Many years later, many contests later, and many small victories later, I emerged as champion at a club humorous speech contest, beating the strong speaker who has been winning every single year ( he was my mentor!). It was such a sweet success to savour, it’s not every day that you get to surpass your mentor. 

Now when club members tell me they don’t want to take part in contests because they are not good enough, I always tell them, To start, you don’t have to be good but to be good, you must start!

There are inspiring examples all around us, of people who have overcome the odds to achieve great things in their lives, Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Nelson Mendela, Nic Vijucic, because they believed in themselves, they didn’t give up.  We too can become what we believe. All we have to do is start somewhere. It doesn’t matter if it’s something as small as baking a cake, or as big as changing the world, just believe in yourself and start somewhere.

One flower at a time, a garden is created.

One brick at a time, a house is built.

One speech at a time, a toastmaster is shaped.

One contest at a time, a champion is born.

In Search of Beauty

The ideas had been brewing in my head for a while. I completed the script last night, rehearsed and timed it, edited it this afternoon and rehearsed it a few times. And I was good to go. I did worry about forgetting my lines though.

Here is the speech that helped me win the champion trophy tonight:

In search of beauty

Once upon a time, there was a sweet young thing. She was so sweet that she attracted many suitors.  Her suitors lined the streets from her house all the way to JB, and some even say Batam!

But as the years rolled by, the sweet young thing got married and had babies and suddenly she wasn't so sweet anymore.  She became a yellow face wife. And believe it or not - that sweet young thing was (dramatic pause) me of course.

During my first pregnancy, I ate like an elephant and ended up looking pretty much like one, having put on 20 kg. After disgorging the baby from my rotund belly, I still had 10 kg of excess weight. From an M size, I became XL!

Once when I visited my friend, one look at me and her mom's jaws dropped. Her eyes were as round as saucers as if she was witnessing something incredulous from Ripley's Believe it or not. She exclaimed “WA YOU HAVE BECOME SO FAT! SO FAT!” If she were a student in my English class doing show and tell, I would have given her an A+ for expressiveness, excellent vocal variety and body language.  But since she wasn't, I could only give her an F - failure for being tactful.  No woman wants to be told the cold hard truth about their girth!

Her callous words wounded my fragile ego so deeply that it ignited an obsession with weight loss.  Pre pregnancy I had a shapely pear shaped figure but post pregnancy I had become an out of shape pear! All my old clothes could no longer fit. My entire wardrobe had to be overhauled. In desperation, I tried dieting, exercising and slimming treatments, slimming pills, slimming gel, anything I could get my hands on but I could not get the desired result due to inconsistent effort.

Two years ago I signed up for a gym membership. Good idea right? Only thing was I could feel my stiff bones creaking in protest. Some moves were so hard I could hardly keep up. And there in front of me was a petite lady with white hair, in her 60s, prancing and moving with so much gusto that she completely put me to shame.  The sessions were always energetic and enjoyable but I eventually stopped going due to my part-time studies and exams.

Recently I was helping my 7-year-old boy to wipe himself dry after his shower. I was squatting next to him. You know how when you sit or squat, your thigh muscles will relax and spread out. Well, my son was staring intently at my thunder thighs and he suddenly asked me, “Mommy, why your leg so giant?” I almost frothed at the mouth and fainted.  But I quickly regained my composure, thanks to my Toastmasters Table Topics training and told him , “Well, God gave me strong legs so that I can carry you around!”

Seriously, a woman can have so many hang-ups about their physical appearance. My hang-ups are innumerable: small boobs, big butt, thunder thighs, belly fat, freckles, pigmentation, eye bags, dark circles, crow’s feet, and the list goes on.  I have searched for beauty in vain.

Last week I went for a makeover. I was so well made over that my son did not recognize me. As for me, I could not stop staring at my reflection in the mirror. I was unbelievably, unimaginably and irresistibly beautiful, like I was 14 years ago on my wedding day. But the magic of make-up is transient and illusory, when the make-up is removed, the magic is gone.

Then God spoke to me, (pause) not in person of course, but through the Bible. I was reading a story in 1 Samuel chapter 16 about God tasking the prophet Samuel to look for a new king for Israel. God directed Samuel to Bethlehem, to the household of Jesse, who has eight sons. When Samuel saw Eliab, Jesse’s eldest son, he was impressed by his stature and convinced that he must be God’s anointed king. However God said to Samuel, and I was sure He was saying it to me as well: “Do not look at his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”  

(I Samuel 16:7 NKJV)

Wow! That made me sit bolt upright with the realization that I have wasted so much time, money and energy on my physical appearance when it’s my heart I should be concerned with.  And the bonus? How can a woman who’s pretty on the inside possibly be ugly on the outside?

In the wise words of Eleanor Roosevelt, the longest serving First Lady of the United States: “No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful.” 

Now that’s the kind of beauty I want!

District 80 Evaluation Contest 2010

Winning the District 80 Evaluation Contest in 2010 was a dream come true for me. When the contest chair announced my name, I could not believe my ears! Tears sprang to my eyes. And I am grateful to my club members Elaine, Benjamin, Nik and Ida who came to support me.

This was the evaluation speech that helped me win the champion trophy at the District 80 Evaluation Contest last year.  Kindly transcribed by Gerald Ong.

Contest Chair, fellow toastmasters, ladies and gentlemen, a very good afternoon to all of you, especially to my dear friend here, Amelia.

The wonder of Toastmasters is that it can transform you from a mediocre speaker into a mesmerizing presenter and I have seen that transformation in Amelia. And this afternoon, her presentation is worthy of an A grade, which her name also starts with A. I am going to use the 3 As to expound on her strengths.

The First A is an appropriate topic.Your topic is about the pursuit of perfection and it is relevant to all of us. In toastmasters here, we are here to pursue perfection as well as communication and leadership
skills.

The second A is anecdotes. You were able to use anecdotes effectively and you drew them from your personal life, involving your son and daughter as well from your work life.

And the third A is for animated. You were very animated as a speaker. You were able to use vocal variety, as well as appropriate gestures. You also used the stage area very effectively. So those are the 3 As that helped you score an A for your performance today.

But how can you go from being an A grade performer to become an A* grade performer? This is where I am going to share 3Ps, which will turn you into a more poised and polished speaker.

The 1st P (you are supposed to take notes now) is to plan pointers in your speech content. For me, I am a very logical person. I like it to be numbered like 1,2,3 or in acronyms ABC, or all As or all Ps. That's my style. I found it a little hard to follow your speech. I would have preferred you to plan some pointers. For example, by telling us that to pursue perfection, there are 3 ways that you can do it. Like number 1 from your personal life, number 2 in your work life, and number 3 on a global scale. You go through these 3 points. On the first point, these are what we can take note of. On the second point, these are what we can take note of and so on. I felt if you had done that, it would help the audience follow your points more logically.

The Second P is to polish your language. There was a few pronunciation as well as grammatical errors in your presentation. You were able to polish that up, that will make you come across as a more poised and polished speaker. For example, you asked 'Is there a such thing called perfect?' when you should have said, “Is there such a thing called Perfection?” This is some of the little things that you may want to tune up.

And the third P is to plan a memorable conclusion, because the audience remembers best what they hear last. So if you want the audience here to follow your advice and to keep improving, keep innovating and keep pursuing perfection then you have to bring that message across strongly to them. And I would suggest in your conclusion, stand still and bring across that message in a loud and powerful voice, instead of pacing, which you were doing at the last part.

In conclusion, Amelia, 3As that helped score A, appropriate Topic, anecdotes and you were animated as a speaker – and finally worked on the 3Ps: plan pointers, polish up your language, plan a memorable conclusion. With that, you will become a very powerful speaker.

Back to you, Contest Chair.

Katong TMC Evaluation Contest 2010

Joyce, thank you for sharing the beautiful melody of your speech about cherishing our loved ones.
Tonight I would like to share with you 3 commendations and 3 recommendations.

Firstly, I would like to share about your strengths as a speaker using the 3 Ses.

The 1st S is for smooth delivery of our speech.  You were fluent and confident as a speaker and able to overcome any nervousness you may have felt.

The 2nd S is for sincerity. You shared with us heartfelt emotions in your speech and even admitted at one point that you were too busy for your grandmother.  Your honesty and sincerity as a speaker has certainly moved us.

The 3rd S is for stories. You used stories in your speech to effectively bring across your message, that we should learn to cherish our loved ones before it is too late. I especially liked how you used two different stories to show contrast between your friend's and your own attitude.

How could you have improved on the speech? Allow me to show with your 3 areas of improvement using the 3Es.

The 1st E is for expression.  You appeared rather serious and sombre most of the time.  Perhaps you could lighten up and be more expressive.  Vary your facial expressions to show impatience or sadness or disappointment to reinforce your storytelling.

The 2nd E is for energy.  The energy of your speech was a bit low, how can we lift up the energy level? Use vocal variety and dramatic gestures where appropriate to create more energy in your speech.

The 3rd E is for effective use of grammar.  There were a few mistakes in your presentation (forgot to note down the examples...) so do make an effort to rehearse more so that these can be avoided. Correct grammar will help you to appear more credible as a speaker.

In conclusion, continue to use the 3Ses smooth delivery, sincerity and stories to mesmerize your audience. Work on the 3Es expression, energy and effective use of grammar, and you will be able to become a more poised and proficient speaker.

PA Humorous Speech Contest 2010

The finals of the PA 7th Humorous Speech Challenge Cup 2010 was held on Sat 2 Oct 2010 at Nee Soon South CC. I had lost all confidence of winning the contest as the other contestants I had heard at the Preliminary round were very competent speakers and my speech seemed lacklustre in comparison.

I decided to write a new speech for the finals but could not summon the energy to do so till the night before the contest.  This is the first time I enter a contest so unprepared.  I had to use the old speech title 'Are You Ready?' as it was already printed in the program booklet even though my new speech title was 'How to Train a Man'. During the speech, I forgot my lines: I lost the 2nd paragraph and some lines in the closing.  Thankfully, I was able to recover quite well.  The audience laughter was loudest during the part about rewards for men, especially the 2nd F.  

Surprise ending? I was placed 2nd runner-up!!! I had left the contest early to go back to work and when I received congratulatory smses from my friends and fellow Katong members, I was astounded, stunned and speechless.  


Here's the speech that helped me win 3rd prize:

HOW TO TRAIN A MAN

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl called Snow White.  She eventually met her Prince Charming and they lived happily ever after.

Good afternoon, distinguished judges, ladies and gentlemen, how many of you believe in happily ever after?

(Wow so many innocent souls out there! or All of you are as cynical as I am?)

When I was a young and innocent little girl, I believed in "happily ever after" but not anymore, especially NOT after I got married because the Prince Charming I had married had somehow mutated into Mr Alarming!! When I asked my married girlfriends, it seems this mutation is quite universal.

Before marriage, my man was absolutely endearing, invariably patient and unconditionally helpful.  For example, he would help me mark my students' assignments (I used to be a teacher) or go the extra mile to buy some food I was craving for.  When we go out on dates, he would tell me how beautiful I looked.  Now I even have to ask him what he thinks of my new haircut because he would barely notice.

Seeing how many celebrity couples have split up and even friends going through divorce, I realised marriage requires hard work. I read up all kinds of marriage self-help books and came to the conclusion: I have to train my man so that we could live, if not happily, at least tolerably together ever after.

Based on the collective wisdom of many authors, the secret to training a man involves CPR. C for consequences, P for punishment and R for Rewards.  

The prelude to this rigorous training is first to establish what kinds of behaviours are off-limits in the marriage.  For example, do not leave your dirty socks or clothes on the floor, place them in the laundry basket.  Do not leave your wet towel lying around, place it on the railing in the toilet.  When I talk to you about my problems, just listen, don't offer solutions.  Of course the list will differ for each couple.  You will find that some actions lend themselves to logical consequences.  If you leave your dirty clothes on the floor instead of in the laundry basket, then they don't get washed.  After a while, he should get the message.  Impose a corresponding consequence for each offending action and keep to it consistently.  

For actions that do not have logical consequences, that's when PR comes in.  You impose your own consequences in the form of punishment or reward.

There are many ways to punish a man but the 3 most effective ways are emotional blackmail, silent treatment and hide-and-seek.

Emotional blackmail includes crying, throwing tantrums or acting hysterical and should be used sparingly only for serious offences for it to be effective.  

Silent treatment involves totally ignoring him for at least 24 hours, if it's only 2 or 3 hours, it won't be effective. In fact, one website eHow.com recommends 1-2 days of silent treatment, and increase to 2-3 days if the offence is repeated.

Hide-and-seek means you hide, he seeks.  This is my personal favourite.  It involves hiding something of great importance to him such as the air-con or tv remote control  When he asks for it, 'Dear, where is the remote control?', just feign ignorance.

Punishment must be painful for it to be effective.  On the other hand, when your man performs well, do reward him as positive reinforcement.  I suggest the 3Fs.

The first F is for food.  It has been said that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.  Keep a copy of makan sutra at home and let him know which dish or recipe he will get to enjoy for his efforts.

The second F is for fantasy.  Keep a copy of karma sutra at home and let him know which position he gets to enjoy for being good.  Better still, play dress up as a nurse, schoolgirl or sex siren (on different occasions of course!) to give him the illusion he is making out with different women.  I am sure this will be an effective antidote to unfaithfulness.

The 3rd F is freedom.  Give him freedom to do whatever he wants but within limits of course.  He gets some 'me-time' to enjoy his macho activities like watching soccer or fishing with his buddies.

So there you have it: CPR - the way to train a man.  However, there is a caveat.  There are some things you just can't train a man to do.  For example, it has been socially confirmed and scientifically proven that men can only do one thing at a time.  I can't talk to my husband when he is driving because he will miss a turn and say it's my fault.  According to author Allan Pease, men's brains are specialised, compartmentalised, and configured to concentrate on one specific dedicated task at once.  So no point training your man how to multi-task because he just won't get it.  

In conclusion, marriage is hard work.  Ladies, use CPR everyday to train your man so you can enjoy living with him under the same roof and perhaps even find your 'happily ever after'.

  

Humorous Speech Contests 2010: ARE YOU READY?

Having moved on from the role of Area Governor, I was looking forward to joining the contest circuit again and raring to go.  This speech about parenting had been brewing in my mind for a long time. 

I presented it at my club contest and it was a hit with the audience.  At the PA 7th Humorous Speech contest, I sailed through to the finals with the speech, although I felt it was lacklustre compared to the other speeches.  At the Area Z3 contest, I was 1st runner-up.  


Here's the speech. Enjoy reading it. =)

ARE YOU READY?           
                   

GOOD EVENING ladies and gentlemen,

How many of you here have kids?

How many of you here have kids but wish you didn’t?

(either respond: Looks like I'm the only honest person here tonight. 

Or Wow, I found my soulmates!)

For the lucky ones who do not have kids, who would like to have kids one day?

I’m sure you think babies are cute and adorable right?  Wrong!!

That is a misguided notion, a misconception, a myth.

Babies are cute and adorable only when (1) they belong to someone else and (2) you only need to spend 5 minutes with them.  Try being the main caregiver having to spend hours and hours with a baby day in and day out and you will certainly change your mind.

Potential parents, are you ready for the challenges of parenting? Tonight, allow me to enlighten you regarding the sacrifices and challenges of parenting from a mother's perspective.

First, the sacrifices.  As a parent, there are 3 Ses you must be prepared the sacrifice. The first S is SLEEP.  This unfortunately applies mostly to mothers. Do you know that new mothers develop enhanced sensitivity to sound? This has been scientifically proven to be part of women's maternal wiring. That means mothers wake easily even to the slightest rustle or whimper of the baby. Unlike the husbands who will just continue to snore and sleep on like a baby. The only time they will wake up in the middle of the night is during World Cup season.

The second S is a three-letter word. Yes, SEX!!! Which in all fairness, applies mostly to fathers.  Many husbands have lamented the fact that they are relegated to second place once baby comes along.  And babies are the biggest sex killer of all.  When mothers are exhausted with breastfeeding and feeling unsexy with all the postnatal weight gain, what is the last thing on their minds? That probably explains why the red light district in Geylang has such a thriving business.

The third S is SANITY.  A thousand and one things about bringing up kids will drive you crazy.  You can go crazy when baby cries and cries non-stop and nothing you do will pacify him. Or the food you have painstakingly prepared for baby ends up on the floor instead of in his mouth. Or when your preschooler comes home spewing some vulgarity he has picked up from school.  The list goes on and on. I can’t even begin to tell you the number of times I’ve felt like giving my kids away.  That is when you need to do some sanity-restoring activities like take a walk in the park, sing karaoke or join a speech contest to pour out your woes, like what I'm doing now.

Now that you’ve heard about the sacrifices of parenting, are you ready to hear about the challenges? Kids will challenge you in 3 ways: They will test your knowledge, they will try your patience and they will question your values.

Children, being creatures of curiosity, will constantly test your knowledge. Sometimes they will ask you the strangest questions. I’ve been asked by my kids: “Why is the moon following us?”; “What animals have no blood?”; “Why can't I see God?”; “Why is that woman so fat?” and so on. Children basically expect their parents to be experts in all fields be it science, zoology, or theology. Thankfully I can use the impromptu speaking skills I have learnt in Toastmasters when put on the spot.

Children try your patience. Do you know that kids love to dawdle especially when you are running late. The more you ask them to hurry, the slower they get. And when you give an instruction, you expect it to be followed NOW, but kids will take their own sweet time especially at bedtime. Joel, come to bed now. Wait mommy I’m hungry, I need to eat something. Or I’m thirsty, I need to drink some water. No wonder the Bible says, "Love is Patient". I'm sure God designed this verse with kids in mind.

Last but not least, kids will question our values. So often we tell our kids to do as we say, but they do as we do.  Which explains why we must be on our best role-model behaviour at all times!! That is such a tall order.  Once I reprimanded my boy, don't talk so rude to mommy, he asked me, "Then why you shout at grandma last time?" Oh boy, was I guilty.  Another time, while driving, a driver cut in front of me, causing me to jam on my brakes.  My 4-year-old son immediately verbalised my thought, "Stupid driver!!" Our children become who we are so unless we practise the values we preach, our kids will definitely question them.

All these challenges can really get you down and beseige you with feelings of frustration and failure.  I'm sure many parents here will agree with me that parenting is the hardest job in the world!

Now that you've heard all about the sacrifices and challenges of parenting, are you ready for it? Don't worry, I have the perfect solution for you.  To be prepared for parenting, we can introduce hands-on practice, like what we do in Toastmasters.  I happen to have 2 very cute and adorable boys who are 4 and 7 years old.  In the spirit of caring and sharing, I am happy to avail them for hire at a very special rate of $20 per day for a minimum of 3 days.  

If after 3 days of hands-on practice, you find the experience tolerable, or even pleasurable, then truly you are ready for the sacrifices and challenges of parenting, the hardest job in the world.

AREA Z3 INTERNATIONAL SPEECH & TABLE TOPICS CONTEST

Having been distracted by my trip to China during the March holidays, I came back realising with great alarm that preparations for the Area Z3 Contest have been left pretty much unattended.

Thankfully my good friend Michael Wee had already agreed to be chief judge earlier on and NOL had graciously agreed on the use of their lecture theatre for the event.  NOL President Peter was a real god-sent. He swiftly attended to all my pleas for help by providing names of club members to be appointment holders and even agreeing to sponsor drinks for the event!

Division Z Governor Sau Ying has already ordered the trophies and all I had to do was collect them from Queensway Shopping Centre and pay for them.  Next was buying the tokens and getting them wrapped.  That was promptly settled within two hours during my lunch break. 

One day before the contest, I went down to NOL to hand over the tokens, trophies and cash for food to Lee Hong as I knew I could not arrive early for the event.  On the day of contest, I arrived feeling flustered and out of sorts.  But I was immensely relieved to see that everything had been set up and sorted.  Jerry from NOL had even printed all the contest forms! Only problem was I couldn't find my script.  How on earth was I going to read out the contest rules now?

Thankfully Michael had brought the contest rules manual along and I could read from there.  The rest of it was improvisation.  So much work goes into organising every contest but not many people realise that. It is great to be part of a winning team where everyone chips in to play their part in ensuring the success of a toastmasters event.

The contestants showcased their informative, insightful and inspiring speeches, as well as intuitive, intelligent impromptu speeches on the topic "Winning can be defined as the science of being totally prepared."  We heard about 'encouragement', 'aging is living', 'the greatest obstacle to success', 'chase your dream' and 'pop and blow'.    We listened, we laughed and we even cried!

Here are the results of the AREA Z3 INTERNATIONAL SPEECH & TABLE TOPICS CONTESTS 2010:

INTERNATIONAL SPEECH CONTEST                              
Champion: Kok Yee Keong (Chong Pang)
1st runner-up: Christine Lim (NOL)                            
2nd runner-up: Kenneth Tian (Katong)                     

TABLE TOPICS CONTEST
Champion: Lee Hong (NOL)
1st runner-up: Christian Immanuel (AIA Alexandra)
2nd runner-up: Grace Tan (Katong)

The Area Champions will represent AREA Z3 at the Division Z ISTT Contests 2010 on Sat 17 APRIL 2010 at Kampong Glam CC from 2-5pm.

AREA Z3 HUMOROUS SPEECH & EVALUATION CONTEST - 1st October 2009

No pain, no gain. There is so much truth in this saying. Why? Because each time you go through the stress (read pain!) of organising a contest, you grow in your organisational and leadership skills. Delegating has always been one of my weaker areas. At the club contest in September, I ended up preparing a lot of the stuff myself. This time round for the area contest, I delegated as much work as I possibly could.

Still, I ended up with a lot of loose ends and details that I overlooked. Like not having an extra SD card to take videos of the contestants, not having blank paper for judges and contestants to take notes. Not only that, one of the air-cons in the room broke down (on a positive note, it gave us a warm audience) and there were not enough chairs - it was literally full-house. The food was also insufficient. Areas for improvement...

In my closing address, I was able to draw laughter from the audience by tapping on the contestants' earlier humorous speeches. But oops, I forgot to mention the chief judge and judges when thanking everyone for helping out in the contests. It will definitely help to write down the key points and run through them in my mind before I go up to speak.

Next assignment: contest chair for the Division Z contest on 10 October 2009.

Is it original?

At a recent contest where I was the chief judge, one of the judges pointed out during the break that one of the speeches was not original.  He had read it on the Internet before.

As it turned out, another judge had also read the account in the speech before and had marked the contestant down in view of that.  In the end, a decision was made to question the contestant about the originality of his speech.

The contestant frankly admitted that only 50% of his speech was original.  As the judges felt that it would not reflect well on the club to send a contestant with a speech that was not original to the area level contest, a vote was cast to decide if the speaker should be disqualified.

Majority won and the decision was passed to disqualify the contestant based on originality of speech.

There are no absolutes in this world.  I believe many speeches borrow ideas from others and originality is not something many speakers adhere to.  Most times they get away with it because many judges and others close an eye to it.  Most speech topics are perennial favourites e.g. Never give up, BGR, gender differences... But how you put your spin to it through the selection of stories and personal anecdotes will make all the difference.



 

Chief Judge for NOL Humorous Speech & Evaluation Contests 2009

It's been a long time since I took on the role of chief judge. Having read the responsibilities of the chief judge on http://members.district15speaks.org/contests.php , there were still small details that I had overlooked.

(1) While briefing the tally counters, overlooked the need to specify a suitable area for collating the contest results and ended up in some corner doing it, while the audience were milling near us during the break.

(2) I forgot to announce if there was any time disqualification.

There were a few hiccups here and there and it would be good as chief judge to give gentle reminders to the appointment holders. For example,

• remind timers to time the one minute of silence and signal to Contest Chair when the one minute is up;
• remind tally counters to collect the timers' record from the timers in addition to judges' ballots;
• remind Contest Chair to invite tally counters to collect ballots at the end of each contest;
• remind Contest Chair to prepare something during the 5 minutes while the evaluation contestants prepare their evaluation speeches (e.g. give announcements, invite other toastmasters to give announcements or tell some jokes).

It's tough to give a humorous speech. Some of the contestants were giving informative speeches! At one point, one judge even came up to me to ask, "Do they know this is a humorous speech contest!!!" Each contest is a learning experience. May the speaker who garners the most laughter win!

Division Z Evaluation Contest 2008

DIVISION Z EVALUATION CONTEST 2008
EVALUATION OF HIJAZI’S SPEECH “THE ECONOMICS OF RELATIONSHIP”

This was the evaluation speech that helped me win the contest:
(Transcribed from video)

Good afternoon, fellow toastmasters, ladies and gentlemen, and especially toastmaster Hijazi. I would like to commend you on giving us a fabulous speech today. And let me share with you why your speech was fabulous using the acronym FAB.

Firstly, you were funny. Everytime I hear you speak, you never fail to tickle my funny bones. I think you really gave the contestants a run for their money. Let me share with you in what way you were funny. You used exaggeration, you used meaningful stares, as well as a very interesting analogy comparing women to the stock market. I think the audience loved that.

A for audience participation. You made use of audience participation by asking them questions and getting them to raise their hands. You also gave them fill-in-the-blanks. And I think the audience enjoyed that as well. So audience participation was great.

And B for body language. You had effective use of body language. You were very animated. There were times when you did this (punch fist into other palm), or used your fingers to emphasize certain points. So well done on those 3 points.

Now I want to share with you 3 ways in which you can improve on your speech today. I want to give you recommendations on how you can improve on the content and organization of your speech. Let me run through the 3 points using OBC: Opening, body and conclusion, which is the basic structure of how we have all been advised to structure our speeches.

Opening. Opening is very important because that is where you grab the audience’s attention. Yes, you had the use of questioning techniques but were your questions relevant to your topic? No. Because your topic is The Economics of Relationship but instead you asked questions about the economy, which was not relevant. So when you want to use the questioning technique, choose your questions carefully. Make sure they are relevant to your topic.

Next, body of your speech. In the body of your speech, you have 3 tips. You spent a lot of time on the first tip ‘Act against normality’, you had anecdotes and you had advice. Your 2nd point ‘diversity’, you spent a moderate amount of time and then you just skim the last point. So your three tips were not well-balanced. So this is something you can look at. How can you manage your 3 tips so that you can spend equal amounts of time.

Last one, conclusion. There is a saying: “the audience remembers best what they hear last.” So conclude with a bang. And this is something you failed to do today because you were rushing for time. You saw the red light and you stopped. That detracted from the power of your speech. So what I want to say to you is: Craft a memorable ending because when you end with a bang, your audience will remember you for a long time to come.

So you are a talented speaker, humorous by nature. And in my humble opinion, if you are able to incorporate these advice by giving us a grand opening, a balanced body and a wonderful conclusion, then you will be able to give a speech with greater pizzazz and finesse.

Contest chair

(TIME TAKEN: 3 min 6 sec)

This was the first time I had won in a Division contest so it's a breakthrough for me, especially since I had strong competitiors in the likes of Wee Meng, Wekie Tay & Christine Lim.

It's also the first time I watched myself performing on video! The first time I watched it, I cringed, but after a while, I got used to it. Haha.. On reviewing my transcribed evaluation speech, I realised I used 'so' quite a lot. That's something to take note of and cut down on. Thankfully, I managed the points and timing quite well.

District 80 Evaluation Contest 2008

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. -- proverb.

The District 80 Evaluation Contest was held on Saturday, 22 Nov 2008, two days before my exams (I'm currently doing a part-time course in Traditional Chinese Medicine). I had considered not going to concentrate on my exams but this could be my only chance to take part in a district contest. In the end, I decided to gain some contest experience and learn from the other contestants.

There were 8 contestants, 4 males & 4 females. I was the first contestant, not very ideal as that meant I only had 5 minutes to prepare my evaluation speech. On the other hand, the plus point was I could get to hear all the other contestants.

The test speaker Poh Kim Siong is not only a Distinguished Toastmaster, but also the International Director, a well-known figure in the Toastmaster circle. He delivered a speech entitled "Courage to Conquer". Good start, I thought, alliterative title. Unfortunately, the rest of the speech did not match the quality of the title. The speech had no structure, no focus and no impact.

During the 5 minutes of preparation time, I frantically plotted my gameplan - 3 positives and 3 negatives. However I could not think of a suitable acronym for the 3 negatives so in the end I went for 4 negatives. Turned out to be a bad move because there was too much content and I probably went overtime.

The acronyms I used were ACE for Audience participation, Confidence and Energy; and ACME for Animated, Craft your speech, Memorable conclusion and Emotions. Once I stepped off the stage, I knew I had blown it. I had made two major mistakes: (1) I had too much content (& probably went overtime) and (2) I insulted the speaker. I said something like 'Your conclusion was so forgettable that I can't even remember what you said." I could hear the audience gasp at the sheer audacity of my statement.

The winner from Hong Kong kept her evaluation short and sweet with two plus points and two minus points. She also cleverly used abbreviations related to the speaker. She used ID (which stands for International Director) for commendations -- Interesting and Dynamic; and TI (which stands for Toastmasters International) for recommendations -- Timing & Itemize.

After thinking long and hard about my lacklustre performance, I thought of an alternative to the recommendations I could have used.

Use 3Ps instead of ACME:
1. Plan an attention-grabbing introduction
Use of the questioning technique when overdone loses its effectiveness.
Reduce the numerous questions in the introduction to just three.
Craft the questions so that they are relevant to the speech and easy for the audience to understand and respond to.

2. Polish your language
Craft your speech to avoid basic grammatical mistakes and awkward sentence structures.
Use rhetorical devices and vivid words that appeal to the senses of the audience.
Deliberate every word you use so that you can achieve the greatest impact with your words.

3. Present with Passion
As a leader, you are in the position to influence and inspire the people you lead.
If you want to persuade them to share your values, you must present with passion.
I want to see the fire in your eyes and hear the conviction in your voice.
You spoke with sincerity but sincerity alone is not enough.
To persuade with power, passion is a vital ingredient.

Now, isn't that better?