BECOME WHAT YOU BELIEVE

(Contest speech presented at Area Z3 International Speech Contest on 27 March at Katong Toastmasters Club)

Last year my friend gave me this book for Christmas because she knows that I love cakes. But what she didn’t know was that I can’t bake! When I flipped through the book, I would drool over each picture but to even think about baking them, I was overwhelmed to say the least. The recipes looked daunting and the ingredients list alone was enough to scare the living daylights out of me.

Good evening, fellow toastmasters and friends. Have any of you ever wished you could do something (like public speaking or paint or pole dance) but gave up trying even before you started simply because it seemed too daunting? Well, I totally understand how you feel.

It felt the same for me with regards to baking. My 3 best friends were wonderful bakers and would frequently whatsapp pictures of their culinary feats. And the worst thing? They would tell me how easy it is. How many of you here think baking is easy? Exactly my point! How can baking be easy? To prove her point, my friend Sharon gave us a hands-on demonstration at her house to bake Japanese light cheesecake. Her experience and deftness in measuring, sifting, beating sure made it look easy! 

I still had my reservations but I didn’t want to give up. A toastmaster never gives up! How else can you become a DTM? You must be Determined. I remember a quote by Henry Ford,

If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.

So I was determined to learn baking. I decided to make a cake that did not require baking. Did you even know there was such a thing? Amazing isn’t it? I embarked on my ‘baking journey’ by making a no bake cheesecake.  I googled for recipes and watched some youtube videos, went out excitedly to buy all the ingredients and equipment and I was ready to go.

Crush some biscuits and mix with butter to make the base, put it in the fridge to chill. Make the filling by beating cream cheese with some condensed milk, vanilla essence and lemon juice together. Pour onto the base, put into the fridge to set for a few hours and viola, I have just made a cheesecake! It was life transforming!

Now I could eat as much cake as I wanted, whenever I wanted. Of course I also shared the bounty with my family members. I am happy to report there were no instances of diarrheoa or food poisoning. My success spurred me on and I volunteered to make a cheesecake for my brother-in-law’s birthday.  I made an oreo cheesecake which received raving reviews. After that, I made another one for my niece’s birthday. It started to have a snowball effect.  

mini chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese frosting 

Later I moved on to baking cakes and cupcakes using cake mix. After I was comfortable with using the oven to bake, I started learning how to make cupcakes from scratch.  Tonight, I am delighted to share with you my handiwork.

This exciting journey in baking reveals how our attitudes affect our actions. Do you believe that you can do it? Then you can. You will do whatever it takes to make it happen! If you believe you can become a DTM, then you will become a DTM, because you will work hard to make it happen. I want to urge all of you, believe in yourself and you will become what you believe.

Is there is a mountain you want to climb? Go climb it. Is there is a marathon you want to run? Go run it. Is there is contest you want to win? Go win it! Don’t allow your fears, your doubts and your self-limiting beliefs to hold you back. If you don’t succeed the first time, try try again.

When I first became a toastmaster, I never thought I could take part in speech contests and win. The speakers at the first club I had joined were very strong speakers. Every year they would sweep the trophies. Nevertheless I kept taking part in contest every year until one year I was finally placed 2^nd runner up. A small victory.  Many years later, many contests later, and many small victories later, I emerged as champion at a club humorous speech contest, beating the strong speaker who has been winning every single year ( he was my mentor!). It was such a sweet success to savour, it’s not every day that you get to surpass your mentor. 

Now when club members tell me they don’t want to take part in contests because they are not good enough, I always tell them, To start, you don’t have to be good but to be good, you must start!

There are inspiring examples all around us, of people who have overcome the odds to achieve great things in their lives, Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Nelson Mendela, Nic Vijucic, because they believed in themselves, they didn’t give up.  We too can become what we believe. All we have to do is start somewhere. It doesn’t matter if it’s something as small as baking a cake, or as big as changing the world, just believe in yourself and start somewhere.

One flower at a time, a garden is created.

One brick at a time, a house is built.

One speech at a time, a toastmaster is shaped.

One contest at a time, a champion is born.

In Search of Beauty

The ideas had been brewing in my head for a while. I completed the script last night, rehearsed and timed it, edited it this afternoon and rehearsed it a few times. And I was good to go. I did worry about forgetting my lines though.

Here is the speech that helped me win the champion trophy tonight:

In search of beauty

Once upon a time, there was a sweet young thing. She was so sweet that she attracted many suitors.  Her suitors lined the streets from her house all the way to JB, and some even say Batam!

But as the years rolled by, the sweet young thing got married and had babies and suddenly she wasn't so sweet anymore.  She became a yellow face wife. And believe it or not - that sweet young thing was (dramatic pause) me of course.

During my first pregnancy, I ate like an elephant and ended up looking pretty much like one, having put on 20 kg. After disgorging the baby from my rotund belly, I still had 10 kg of excess weight. From an M size, I became XL!

Once when I visited my friend, one look at me and her mom's jaws dropped. Her eyes were as round as saucers as if she was witnessing something incredulous from Ripley's Believe it or not. She exclaimed “WA YOU HAVE BECOME SO FAT! SO FAT!” If she were a student in my English class doing show and tell, I would have given her an A+ for expressiveness, excellent vocal variety and body language.  But since she wasn't, I could only give her an F - failure for being tactful.  No woman wants to be told the cold hard truth about their girth!

Her callous words wounded my fragile ego so deeply that it ignited an obsession with weight loss.  Pre pregnancy I had a shapely pear shaped figure but post pregnancy I had become an out of shape pear! All my old clothes could no longer fit. My entire wardrobe had to be overhauled. In desperation, I tried dieting, exercising and slimming treatments, slimming pills, slimming gel, anything I could get my hands on but I could not get the desired result due to inconsistent effort.

Two years ago I signed up for a gym membership. Good idea right? Only thing was I could feel my stiff bones creaking in protest. Some moves were so hard I could hardly keep up. And there in front of me was a petite lady with white hair, in her 60s, prancing and moving with so much gusto that she completely put me to shame.  The sessions were always energetic and enjoyable but I eventually stopped going due to my part-time studies and exams.

Recently I was helping my 7-year-old boy to wipe himself dry after his shower. I was squatting next to him. You know how when you sit or squat, your thigh muscles will relax and spread out. Well, my son was staring intently at my thunder thighs and he suddenly asked me, “Mommy, why your leg so giant?” I almost frothed at the mouth and fainted.  But I quickly regained my composure, thanks to my Toastmasters Table Topics training and told him , “Well, God gave me strong legs so that I can carry you around!”

Seriously, a woman can have so many hang-ups about their physical appearance. My hang-ups are innumerable: small boobs, big butt, thunder thighs, belly fat, freckles, pigmentation, eye bags, dark circles, crow’s feet, and the list goes on.  I have searched for beauty in vain.

Last week I went for a makeover. I was so well made over that my son did not recognize me. As for me, I could not stop staring at my reflection in the mirror. I was unbelievably, unimaginably and irresistibly beautiful, like I was 14 years ago on my wedding day. But the magic of make-up is transient and illusory, when the make-up is removed, the magic is gone.

Then God spoke to me, (pause) not in person of course, but through the Bible. I was reading a story in 1 Samuel chapter 16 about God tasking the prophet Samuel to look for a new king for Israel. God directed Samuel to Bethlehem, to the household of Jesse, who has eight sons. When Samuel saw Eliab, Jesse’s eldest son, he was impressed by his stature and convinced that he must be God’s anointed king. However God said to Samuel, and I was sure He was saying it to me as well: “Do not look at his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”  

(I Samuel 16:7 NKJV)

Wow! That made me sit bolt upright with the realization that I have wasted so much time, money and energy on my physical appearance when it’s my heart I should be concerned with.  And the bonus? How can a woman who’s pretty on the inside possibly be ugly on the outside?

In the wise words of Eleanor Roosevelt, the longest serving First Lady of the United States: “No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful.” 

Now that’s the kind of beauty I want!

Language Evaluation at AIA - May 2013

Word of the day:

riveting (adjective):
 - so interesting that it holds your attention completely

Some correct and commendable uses of this word:

• I was riveted by this show. (used as a verb)
• It must be riveting enough to keep us awake.
• He was rivetingly engaging.
• That was a riveting icebreaker speech.

RECOMMENDATIONS:

Vocabulary 

• It's an apocalypse show. =>It's an apocalyptic show.
• The speech that I will be doing. => The speech that I will be presenting.
• Sometimes life can be enjoying. => Sometimes life can be enjoyable.
• It was a life-changing career in my life. => It was a life-changing moment.
• There are some steps to do. => There are some steps to follow.
• Most of us are familiar of... => Most of us are familiar with ...
• too much topics => too many topics

Sentence structure

• She is today Ah Counter. => She is the Ah Counter for today.
• lawless rampant society  => lawlessness is rampant in that society.
• to foster us self-confidence => to help us foster self-confidence
• He told me something that strike my mind.  => He told me something that stayed in my mind.
• She has travelled the world, not many people does.  => She has travelled the world, but not many people have had the opportunity.

Pronunciation 

• preparatory pri-par-uh-tawr-ee
• menu  men-yoo
• impact  im-pakt  (note: don't drop the /t/ sound at the back)
• presentation  prez-uhn-tey-shuhn (note: stress on the 3rd syllable)
• alchemist  al-kuh-mist (note: /ch/ is pronounced as /k/)

COMMENDATIONS:

Alliteration

• clear, cloudy
• stubborn stain
• systematic and structured

Triads

• Cats are smooth, feline and adorable.
• I learned to adjust, adopt and adapt to AIA.
• A voice that is loud, clear, proud.
• 3 key areas: temperature, value and intensity
• colour, flavour and how you serve them
• drama, dialogue, engagement

Rhyme

• It's doable and possible.
• Do you empathize and sympathize?
• You're not riveting, you're inviting.

Contrast

• He is an introvert in an extrovert business.
• I'm happy and sad to be born on National Day.
• She was made in UK, the other two are local products.
• If words can't solve it, a bullet might.
• I lie on my bed, not under my bed.
• They slap you and then tell you they like you.
• Ladies first? No! Ladies serve.
• Laugh dying vs die laughing to the bank

Metaphors 

• My name is Charity. (beseeching speaker to donate to him.)
• Tsunami makes you think of a dam bursting.
• I name it (red wine) stubborn.
• I lost my singlehood.
• She was a branded child. (referring to the child 'made in UK')
• What a colourful speech!
• Your speech was a jigsaw puzzle with pieces that fit together.
• Inject more excitement in your speech.

Journey to ACG

Here is a record of the ten speeches I have completed to achieve Advanced Communicator Gold award from Dec 2010 - Sep 2012.

ENTERTAINING MANUAL

1 The Entertaining Speech (5-7 min) 
Happily Ever After 
evaluated by Ler Wee Meng on 10 Dec 2010 at NUS Alumni TMC

2 Resources for Entertainment (5-7 min) 
OMG
evaluated by Lim Seh Leng on 28 Dec 2010 at Tampines Changkat Advanced TMC

3 Make Them Laugh (5-7 min) 
Forever Young
evaluated by Pradeep Kumar  on 10 Mar 2011 at AIA Changi TMC

4 A Dramatic Talk (5-7 min) 

The Perils of Parenting
evaluated by Sam Kouk on 20 Oct 2011 at Katong TMC

5 Speaking After Dinner (6-8 min) 
Free Facelifts
evaluated by Coen Tan on 12 Jan 2012 at Katong TMC 


SPECIALTY SPEECHES MANUAL

1 Speak Off the Cuff (5-7 min)
Benefits of Joining Toastmasters
evaluated by David Kow on 31 Jan 2012 at Tampines Changkat Advanced TMC 

2 Uplift the Spirit (5-7 min) 
Steps to Excellence
evaluated by Vincent Lim on 16 Feb 2012 at Katong TMC

3 Sell A Product (5-7 min) 
To be Determined...
evaluated by Daisy Neo on 20 Sep 2012 at Katong TMC

4 Read Out Loud (5-7 min) 
Life Without Limits by Nick Vujicic
evaluated by Paulin Chan on 7 Jun 2012 at Buona Vista TMC

5 Introduce the Speaker (duration of club meeting)

Introducing the Speakers
evaluated by Nik Chua on 20 Jan 2011 at Katong TMC 

AP3 MAKE THEM LAUGH

THE ENTERTAINING MANUAL

AP3 MAKE THEM LAUGH: 

FORVER YOUNG

  

It was the usual supper routine after our club's chapter meeting.  As my club members and I were walking to the carpark, Mike, the youngest member from my club who is in his early 20s, spied a spiffy red car with sports rim and pointed to it. "Cool!" he commented. 

I broke into a wide smile and said, "Good taste. That's my car!"

"What? But but but you're an auntie!" he spluttered in disbelief.

If I were a volcano, I would have erupted and spewed lava all over this tactless young chap.  What? You mean "oldies" cannot be young at heart?

How many of you here are in your twenties? Thirties? The rest of you, I'm sorry, you're aunties and uncles whether you like it or not.

Unfortunately for ladies, our auntie status is often hastened with childbirth. Once I had kids in my thirties, I already became an auntie.  But that didn't stop me from being young at heart. I mean, look at me. Do I look like I'm forty? Please.

Remember in the 1980s there was this pop song "Forever young, I want to be forever young... " How many of you here would like to stay forever young? Come on, own up!  We are living in an anti-aging culture.  Nobody wants to look old or admit they are old. Well, I don't have the elusive elixir that will help us retain youth and longevity. But I do know 3 ways we can stay forever young. 

The first way to stay forever young is to beg Fernando to adopt you, then you can change your surname to Young.  And ladies, you have the extra option of marrying a Young man since Fernando has two sons.  Hopefully they are handsomer versions of him.  Then you can become Mrs Young and that will stay with you forever.

The second way is to stay forever young is to go under the knife  The options available nowadays for cosmetic plastic surgery are varied and truly mind-boggling.  There are all kinds of lifts like brow lift, face lift, even other sagging body parts.  You could also go for rhinoplasty, cheek fillers, lip augmentation or chin surgery. Or how about a few shots of botox to erase  wrinkles - the tell-tale signs of aging.  In a recent issue of 8 Days, Nicole Kidman finally admitted to having used Botox which explains why her forehead stays expressionless even when she's frowning.  Of course this option is only available to those who are filthy rich since plastic surgery is exorbitant.  A simple procedure like cheekbone implants would set you back by 8k dollars.  Unfortunately I don't belong to the filthy rich category so this option is definitely out for me.

The third and easiest way to be forever young is to stay young at heart.  How do we do that? Follow the 3Cs that characterize young people.

The 1st C is curiosity.  Young people are curious, they naturally want to find out about things they don't understand.  This started in their childhood days. Parents, remember the days when your toddlers or kids started asking why? why? why? and almost drove you crazy? Let's keep this spirit of desiring knowledge and it will help us have an active mind.  There is a saying, "Use it, or lose it." Studies also confirm that too little mental stimulation can hasten mental decline. So use your mind constantly to keep it agile and you will stay forever young.

The 2nd C is carefree.  Young people are carefree, they seek out friends, fun experiences and basically know how to enjoy life.  As adults, we are hassled and bogged down by too many responsibilities so when we allow stress and worry to become permanent residents in our lives.  Let's learn to cast our cares aside to enjoy time with family and friends, to pursue our hobbies and interests whether it be public speaking or singing or dancing in the midst of our busyness. Recently I took up kickboxing at a gym and it has done wonders for me.  Put me on an adrenaline high.  So go ahead, do something you really enjoy once a week and see yourself become more airy, animated and at ease, see yourself feeling young again. 

The 3rd C is courage - courage to dream, courage to experience, courage to try. How many times have you backed out of something with the excuse, no lah, I'm too old for this?  Why should we be too old for anything? In Kansas, USA, a 95-year-old woman will become the world's oldest college graduate.  In UK, 49-year-old Susan Boyle who became an overnight sensation was awarded the record for being the oldest person to reach number one with a debut album.  The list could go on and on.  Don't ever tell yourself I'm too old for this.  If you want to do it, just go for it. That's the spirit to staying young at heart.

So there you have it ladies and gentlemen, the secret to staying young at heart, be curious, be carefree, be courageous to pursue your dreams.  And don't let anyone tell you: "you're too old for this!"  

WHAT MAKES AN EFFECTIVE EVALUATION?

When I won the Division Z Evaluation Contest in 2008, I was elated, but when I was not even placed in the District 80 Evaluation Contest a few months later, I was deflated.  I had made two fatal mistakes: (1) I had packed too many points in my evaluation speech (and was probably one of the two contestants who went overtime) and (2) I had insulted the test speaker.  Nevertheless, it was an educational experience as I had learnt an invaluable lesson.

After observing the more proficient evaluators and evaluating many project speeches, I have come to realise that the key to effective evaluations lies in 3Ses: Structure, Sincerity and Sensitivity.

Structure

Some evaluators include a mishmash of points randomly put together, which makes the speech difficult to follow.  An effective evaluation speech must have a clear structure that is easy to follow. I use the basic structure: Introduction + 3 commendations + 3 recommendations + Conclusion.  The commendations and recommendations should be clearly delineated using numbers, acronyms or alliterative triads (i.e. a group of 3 words or phrases beginning with the same letters).

I must give credit to Wekie Tay, the Division Z Evaluation Champion in 2009 who impressed me immensely with his effective use of alliterative triads in his evaluation speech.  Thereafter, I tried using alliterative triads in my future evaluations and found that it worked like magic every time.

Sincerity

An effective evaluation should not be a plethora of platitudes or an exercise in whitewashing.  If you did not find the speech inspiring, do not say that it was inspiring. Be true to yourself.  If we glorify the speaker, we are doing him a great disservice.  An effective evaluation serves as a mirror image to help a speaker realise his strengths and areas for improvement.  

Sensitivity

Speak the truth in love - that's a good rule to follow.  While we want to be sincere and truthful in our comments, we also want to sensitive to the feelings of the speake and avoid being tactless.  During the District 80 Evaluation Contest in 2008, I actually told the test speaker, "Your conclusion is so forgettable that I can't even remember what you said." On hindsight, that might have been more positively re-phrased as "Ending your speech on a strong note will help you leave a deep impression on your audience."  Now I learn to use positive language to explain how the speaker could have improve on certain aspects of his/her speech.

In conclusion, an effective evaluation  has a clear structure, sincere comments and is sensitive to the speaker's feelings. The end result of which is that the speaker is motivated to improve his speaking skills.

AP5 Speaking After Dinner

AP5 Speaking After Dinner from The Entertaining Speaker Manual

Timing: 8 - 10 minutes

Objectives:

(1) Prepare an entertaining after-dinner talk on a specific theme.
(2) Deliver the talk extemporaneously, using the skills developed in the preceding entertainment 

Evaluator: Coen Tan from Tampines Changkat TMC

FREE FACELIFTS

Look at me? What do you see?

You don't see my dazzling mega-watt smile?

You don't see my sparkling white, perfectly aligned front teeth?

Do you know why I have such beautiful teeth?

Because I use Sensodyne! No, I was just kidding.

It's because they are all fake teeth! This is a secret I have kept for many years, please do not tell anyone!

I see some of you shaking your heads and gaping in disbelief. Fake teeth belong to tottering old ladies with wrinkled faces! Why would a young lady like Joni in her 20s have fake teeth?

I know I look like I'm in my 20s but actually I've already hit the 40s. That's another secret, please don't tell others.

Well, you see, something happened years ago that totally changed my...

teeth!  Let me share with you the story.

After my A levels, I went to relief teach at River Valley High School. One day some of my colleagues planned an outing during a public holiday.  We went to East Coast Park to cycle. It was a bright sunny day, with a bit of a breeze. We will happily cycling along when we spotted a group of children cycling towards us. My group was going in one direction, and the children in the opposite direction.

Suddenly, a small, dark boy came out from behind the group of children.  He was hell bent on overtaking the group of children who were going too slowly for his liking. He was pedalling fast and furious, going like a whirlwind.  He came straight onto our lane and before I could react, he was in my face, literally!

Wham! Bang! Collision. I was knocked right off my bike and I was seeing stars.  There was a commotion around me but I was too dazed to realise what was happening. All I could feel was pain in my mouth and wetness on my shirt. I looked down and saw BLOOD!!  Not drips of blood, not trickles of blood but pools of blood! I think I almost fainted.  

What happened was my teeth had made contact with the boy's forehead.  Other than teeth marks on his forehead, the boy survived the accident unscathed, while I was lying on the grass patch, bleeding profusely.  Two of my teeth had been knocked out on impact.  One colleague frantically called for an ambulance, while the other attended to me.

After what seemed like an interminable wait, the ambulance arrived and I was placed on a stretcher and ferried to the SGH.  Fortunately for me, my colleague's aunt worked in SGH dentistry department so after some string pulling, I was able to see a dentist without having to wait too long.

The dentist examined me and shook her head. "You will have to wear dentures for now, while we arrange to have crown made. But that will cost at least one thousand dollars."  With my mouth wide open, I could hardly say anything to express my shock and dismay.  I could only utter 'ah' sounds while lying there helplessly.  Any ah counter would have had a field day counting my 'ah's!

After several visits to the dentist, I finally had crowns to fill the gap in my teeth. That Christmas, the song All I want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth took on a special meaning to me.

That's the end of Part 1 of the story. Part 2 of the story happened 10 years after the accident.  I began to notice that my smile was somewhat crooked. It bothered me a lot! That made me self-conscious and unwilling to smile. My teeth were not aligned straight, instead they were overlapping.  One day, I came across an advertisement about smile makeover.  It promised to solve all kinds of dental problems and give you something to smile about.

Intrigued, I called immediately for an appointment. Dr Ong was very warm and effusive. He showed me all the before and after photos of previous customers and I was sold.  I underwent two sessions of measurements, customisations and fixtures, and several thousand dollars later, I had fake teeth or more correctly, porcelain veneers to correct my teeth alignment. My smile makeover was complete. Finally I had something to smile about!

Did you know that smiling lifts the face and make you look younger? So if you want a free facelift, smile!  Smilng is also contagious, which explains the saying "Smile, and the whole world smiles with you!" Research has also shown that smiling releases endorphins and helps you stay positive. It also makes you appear successful. 

So if you want to look young and attractive, SMILE.

If you want to feel happy and positive, SMILE.

If you want to appear confident and successful, SMILE.

And you know what's the best part about that? Something that all Singaporeans like.

It's FREE!

Time taken: 7 mins 50 secs 

I was 10 seconds short of the timing of 8 to 10 minutes.  Evaluator Coen suggested that I could dramatize the story further to up its entertainment value. For example, show a crooked smile and pose it for exaggerated humour.  Or play up the scene about the dentist.  Put all inhibitions aside!!