A University of Arizona study found that most people speak around 16.000 words in a day. However, only about 500-700 words are of actual value. The bible in Proverbs tells us that "a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." (
Proverbs 25:1 ) What a beautiful description! When we say something fitting, it is precious and beautiful to behold, like apples of gold.
Another proverb says "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones." (Proverbs 16:24 NKJV). Isn't that amazing? Not only are pleasant words beautiful, they are good for our physical and emotional health. So this begs the question... how often do we use pleasant words?
I would like to share with you three kinds of pleasant words that we can use in our daily lives to bring beauty and health to ourselves and others. And they all begin with the letter A.
The first kind of pleasant words are words of appreciation. We can show appreciation by saying thank you to all the things that others do for us. You know how as parents we always make such a big deal about our children saying thank you. This is one of the first things we teach them from young. But as we get older, we seem to forget the importance of saying thank you. Do you thank your wife for cooking for you? Do you thank your husband for giving you a ride to work? Do you thank your children when they help you with chores? These are things we often take for granted. I know I did.
Once after a Toastmasters meeting, I told my fellow club member that my husband will be coming to pick me up. She exclaimed, "Wa! Your husband is so sweet!" I was like... "sweet meh?" In my mind, I was thinking, isn't that what a husband is expected to do? She corrected my erroneous thinking by saying, "Well, my husband would never pick me up cos he would be too tired." So that night, when my husband came to pick me up, I gave him a big kiss and said very sweetly, "Thank you so much for coming to pick me!" I could see that it made him very happy to be appreciated. So from then on, I always made it a point to thank him whenever he gave me a ride.
We can even extend our words of appreciation to strangers. Whenever I am at a food court or hawker centre, I would make it a point to thank the aunties or uncles who come to clear the dirty plates and wipe the table. Most people treat them like they're invisible, but when I take time to acknowledge and appreciate them, I can see that it puts a smile on their faces.
The second kind of pleasant words are words of approval. To approve is to regard as good, to commend, to be pleased with. In a Chinese culture like the one I grew up in, you do NOT get approval for what you do right, only disapproval for what you do wrong. I grew up thinking I was stupid because I got called that a lot whenever I made a mistake. When I joined Toastmasters, I became addicted to it because I got so much approval here, in the form of winning ribbons, speech contests, and praises from fellow members. It did wonders for my ego! In the past I struggled with inferiority complex; now I have to deal with my superiority complex.
Once my son came home with 99 marks for a Math test. I was delighted with his performance and commended him for doing well. But his father asked him, "Why so careless? You lost 1 mark for carelessness!" That is a classic example of disapproval. Just two days ago, my son came home and happily announced that he only had 4 mistakes out of 20 MCQs for his Science test. I was very pleased with him but his father said 4 mistakes is unacceptable! You must aim for full marks for MCQs! My poor son was very upset.
When we nitpick and show disapproval constantly, it brings hurt and poisons the relationship. Words of approval are so crucial for us to appreciate others' efforts and accomplishments. The next time your spouse, child or colleague does something well, be sure to shower them with words of approval like Good job! Well done! You are totally awesome!
The third kind of pleasant words are words of affirmation. To affirm is to support or encourage.
Approval is based on what we do. Affirmation is based on who we are. Sometimes we may express doubt or insecurity about our own abilities, that is when we need affirmation the most. I remember when I first contemplated signing up for a 5km run, my friend Geri told me to go for it. You can do this! Her words of affirmation gave me the motivation to sign up and train hard for the run to prove that she is right.
Whenever club members express doubt about taking up a new role, or joining a contest, I would encourage them to just do it and share with them tips for handling the role. Once you show that you believe in them, they will believe in themselves. Words of affirmation are so crucial to build up someone's confidence and belief in themselves.
We can
give out apples of gold every day in the form of words of appreciation, words
of approval and words of affirmation. They don't need to be lengthy or eloquent,
just sincere and from the heart. By speaking pleasant words, we bring sweetness
to the soul and health to the bones. Not only that, we create something
precious, like apples of gold in settings of silver.
NOTE:
P2 Organise Your Speech (5-7 mins)
Objectives:
• Select an appropriate outline which allows listeners to easily follow and understand your speech
• Make your message clear, with supporting material directly contributing to that message
• Use appropriate transitions when moving from one idea to another
• Create a strong opening and conclusion
• Make your message clear, with supporting material directly contributing to that message
• Use appropriate transitions when moving from one idea to another
• Create a strong opening and conclusion
